Here is a little experiment. How many times do you check your Smartphone a day in an attempt to just look at the time? Now how many of those times are you unintentionally pulled into the netherworld of the phone and unintentionally zapped from the present moment to be drawn to an unworldly and often unimportant rabbit hole?
Look around you and observe. People have stopped wearing watches or at least when they are looking for the time just check their ever-present phone. It has literally been years now that I have not had a wristwatch and used my phone to fill the gap. In December, I finally caved and got an iPhone with the intention that it would be most useful on our adventures to have a video, camera, and phone all in one to lighten my load. It is an energy drain and I experienced freedom and became enlightened…
Here is a little experiment. How many times do you check your Smartphone a day in an attempt to just look at the time? Now how many of those times are you unintentionally pulled into the netherworld of the phone and unintentionally zapped from the present moment to be drawn to an unworldly and often unimportant rabbit hole?
Look around you and observe. People have stopped wearing watches or at least when they are looking for the time just check their ever-present phone. It has literally been years now that I have not had a wristwatch and used my phone to fill the gap. In December, I finally caved and got an iPhone with the intention that it would be most useful on our adventures to have a video, camera, and phone all in one to lighten my load. It is an energy drain and I experienced freedom and became enlightened on our recent adventure.
We were gifted by friends to a week at a Spa Resort in North Beach Miami. There are workout classes, workshops, a state of the arts spa, and gym but the ultimate gift – these areas are ALL listed as Cell Phone Free. That means no calls OR texting allowed. Ah a moment of Zen – no ringing, yammering, or people more focused on the device then those around them. It was an odd feeling, people actually spoke to EACH OTHER, in person. That part was a vacation in itself. That and the fact that one of the main training rooms has two open walls to the outside with fresh air and natural light as well as Cardio Aquatics classes in the outdoor pool. Looking around some people seemed unnerved and a bit nervous and fidgety, maybe that was from the cold turkey sans phones. But, back to reality and outside the cocoon of the artificial rules we witnessed people standing IN the other pools on their phones and on the street someone on their bike at a red light so deeply absorbed texting that he almost got in a major accident.
Outdoor Training Room
Outdoor Gym Workout Pool
From my recent lamenting about the phone AKA digital hand watch, Rick pulled me into Swatch to get a new casual, everyday watch. I was joyful to discover a new friend, not only a watch but, a mantra. It provides me constant remembrances – “Be Happy for this Moment” and “This Moment is for Life”.
Get a watch and get a little of your life back, I did!
My intention has always been to be an exceptional mother, after all I had 35 years on this planet to devise my strategy and much forethought before beginning the occupation. But, I was not prepared for being dubbed the Best Mom in the World a bit over 3 ½ years into my tenure. The difficult part is retaining the title, at least in one person’s eyes.
Does this look like the “Best Mother in the World” or what?
From the early moments of being with child, unconditional love permeated every fiber of my being as every mom tells you it will. But at no time was I prepared for the absolute pure love that I was to receive in return. Well before the age of 3 my daughter whole heartily announced daily that she was going to be a Mommy. In an attempt to instill a sense of unlimited potentiality in the future, often I would add that she was going to do and be many things before she is a mommy. Alrighty, now she was gong to be a ballet dancer, a martial artist, and then a mommy. But why the Mommy fixation? I had to know so I asked.
“Because you are the best mommy in the whole world and I want to be just like you.” Bang – my knees got weak, no longer an infant relying on me for mere survival, the connection just got exponentially deeper and more intense. Carefully and often encouraging her independence and original thoughts while meanwhile she was, and is, mirroring me in every way. So often in the daily hustle and bustle it is easy to forget that after all we are and will be role models for our children not just as youngster but in our actions, behaviors, and of course our influence intentionally and unintentionally.
The gravity of the title bestowed gives one pause and reflection the same way any ceremonial crowning subconsciously and consciously elevates a person to meet the expectations of the designation. It is not the feeling of a constant microscope, on the contrary, it is more akin to a mirror back to oneself. In line situationally relating to WWJD as in WWTBMD, What Would “The Best Mom Do?” I am not labeling myself as otherworldly or saintly, but do feel more patient and conscious thinking WWTBMD in lots of situations. This does not mean all sunshine and rainbows but some deep breaths, intentional pauses, and extra hugs. Of course, to be the best it should and does including being firm and disciplining when need be, a true sign of ultimate love.
An update on our travels:
Rick was teaching a seminar in NYC for Krav New York so we decided to stay for a beautiful spring weekend. A whole morning spent in central park and landing for brunch at a lovely Greek restaurant in the Upper West Side – Loi. The staff was very warm and gracious and we were enthralled to find out that the chef/owner donates 10% of all profits to an orphanage in Greece, her motherland. Life can present constant reminders of humility and humanity. In her restaurant and website more of a focus is on these efforts than promoting the fact that she is a celebrity chef and even cooks for Obama a few times a year. If you ever in the city for brunch you must check it!
One gift of having a singleton is that we manage pretty well as a team and can easily and stress-free enjoy cultural adventures that some parents of multiples dare not attempt. Being that we are not outnumbered we can always switch off to experience adult themed amusement without interrupting others experiences. We are Beatles mega-fans so when we heard that the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts, at Lincoln Center had an exhibit “Ladies and Gentlemen…The Beatles!” that includes tour memorabilia, historic film clips, video interviews with musicians, as well as interactive exhibits of course we had to make a pit stop.
Sunday came and a four-hour seminar and a child just don’t align. Having once never believed I could enjoy something more than martial arts, I choose some quality time with Ilaria and we headed to the West Village for a wonderful educational introduction to the theater and children’s showing of The Little Mermaid, no it was not created by Disney, this one was based on the original Hans Christian Anderson version and the mermaid (never actually given a name in the folk tale version) does not marry the prince and live happily ever after. She loved it and seeing this experience through her was sheer joy.
Rick taught the Kali edged weapon awareness seminar to a great group of very receptive Krav Maga students some of which had a blank canvas when it came to the Filipino arts. Interestingly, back in the PAMA archives Rick has a receipt from the main a Krav Maga schools in Israel when they bought a whole set of his instructional DVDs several few years back. After the show, since both us gals LOVE martial arts, we immediately after headed to midtown east to check out the second half of the seminar. Great group of people to teach!
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Ah dancing, theater, and martial arts all in one day, maybe I am the Best Mom in the Whole World. When asked what her favorite part of the show was my daughter’s reply was “Being with you Mom”. Oh, the pressure of keeping the title!
All three of us were born in Jersey and have lived here all of our 101 years in total. I studied both my undergrad and graduate classes in state and worked/lived here ever since. The 6-½ weeks away was the longest stretch that any of us has ever spent out of state EVER. Jersey runs deep in our blood and it has been motherland, a place of sacred memories.
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Upon landing in Newark there was a surprisingly unfamiliar, unsettling feeling and stillness. As we stepped outside air bathed us with a chill and that New Jersey “je ne sais quoi” quality. We made the drive home with our trusty ex-employee Max. Although we have taken this route with him back from the airport on numerous occasions, this was the first time the conversation was not an immediate return to realism with a briefing of all things PAMA business related. Usually we hit the ground running, being catapulted directly into reality with little time for niceties. On this day there were moments of stillness, chuckles, and small talk.
Once we were on our own in the car Rick and I exchange our feelings and commiserate about our outlooks of feeling like strangers in a strange land. Fittingly, turning on the radio the words blare and resonate, “Help me get my feet back on the ground. Won’t you please, please help me?”
Upon stopping in our familiar grocery store for a coffee and rations it was a surreal feeling like when a spirit passes to another world and is walking amongst this world unrecognized, unacknowledged. The world around us, zooming and flurring as our bodies glide through seamlessly untouched. Leaving the parking lot and SCREECH………. Time speeds up and we are brought to reality when a Jersey driver ran a stop sign, almost ramming us in a T formation as we turned in front of him. OM, OM, and OMG, with a shiver the Jersey Girl in me takes back my body. Giving the appropriate “What the Hey?” question mark arm gesture (no, not a hand gesture I am a lady after all) we were greeted and acknowledged by a horn and reciprocal gesticulation of disapproval, no sign of acknowledging his error. Immediately brought back to our bodies and reality. As a story a teacher of ours once shared it is easy to mediate in stillness and calmness. Now try it while sitting in a half lotus with a sharp, pointed rock under your rump.
What the F, welcome back to Jersey and yes, STOP signs are a mere suggestion.
In the past for me visions of Florida conjure images of strip malls, slow drivers, and of course, as mentioned in my previous blog, gators and crocs. My new list consists of natural beauty, wildlife, and culture in the Sunshine State, filled with nothing for us to do.
Landing in Miami we started our quest via auto through Key Largo (see last blog for the almost gory details) and spend a few lovely weeks in Key West. “Key” is derived from the Spanish Cayo, meaning Small Island. After doing my research I learned that amazingly there are 1700 islands in the archipelago of the Florida Keys! Only 43 of the islands are connected via bridges and even after having driven this route from Miami I had no idea.
When we found ourselves in Key West it took but a breath and a sigh to let go and feel a part of the space surrounding us. We have been in Costa Rica for a few weeks every year for the past 3 years, 4 including this one so it was not until we landed ourselves on the Atlantic shoreline very close to the Gulf Coast that it became “real” for us. We were on an extended break. I refrained posting the beautiful pictures to Facebook during the most frigid of temperatures for fear of converting friends to frenemies.
Our favorite sculpture Seward Johnson II
I think she is cheating as the forth hand!
Just for fun!
When we spent 2 ½ weeks in the Keys, we loved it and found the rhythm melodious for our liking. Yes, we were blessed to stay in a lovely guesthouse overlooking the ocean but more we felt more then that. The local people were very friendly and welcoming. Not just in restaurants and shops but parks and beaches as well as a lovely woman and her son that we were lucky to get connected with and hung out with our daughter a few times. When we have visited places such as Key West and Sedona for examples there is a certain energy that the people exude. One thought is that these places are filled with natural beauty and nature, tourism is THE industry. For the average person to live there they have to make a conscious effort to transplant themselves, for the most part a career is not going to implant them in these locals. They are drawn there by their hearts and desires.
A real wild Manatee
Feeding the Tarpons on the dock
Right now it is a bit difficult to grasp that we don’t have to DO something. At this point we can consider ourselves frequency holders for a time. But, inherent to our nature as self-motivated, fervent people and society instilled beliefs, at times can difficult to grasp the concept of not doing anything specific but be in the moment. Yes, raising a child is the most important job one can do and that is sheer joy daily but not really to much of anything else unless of course if we are inspired to do so. After conversations regarding this issue and hearing about yet more snow in the Northeast we decided to extend our stay another week. (Yes, this blog is later then it should be hence the title of the blog.)
We took ourselves past Coconut Grove in Miami and headed to the Gulf coast to see Sanibel Island and visit with Rick’s Sister-In-Law in Fort Myers. The island is a throw back surrounded my nature and all local independent stores; there are no traffic lights and lots of people bike around the many bike paths. Love, love, loved it. Walking on the beach as the sunrises is my idea of doing nothing.
Living Wherever We Are 