Category: Martial Arts

Been island hopping: Key West, P.E.I., Key Largo… Ærø

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Embracing Uncertainty, Martial Arts, Plane Travel, Travel, World Travel

Milan, Copenhagen, Malmo Sweden, Boulder Co, Sarasota FL, Boulder Co, Miami Beach FL, NYC, Nosara CR, Key Largo, Key West, Boulder Co, Halifax NS, Prince Edward Island, LA, Sedona AZ, NYC, Nosara CR, Miami Beach, Key West, Key Largo, Miami Beach, Malmo SE. That about catches us up from my last blog until now for those curious. It has only been about 2 years! Those who were asking for more have since given up asking. So, in typical Scorpio fashion on my own terms and without further adieu…

Since I last communicated the world has been changing so rapidly and it continues to be tumultuous and overwhelming for many, many reasons. We did not even go to Europe last year because of all the terrorist activity, instead we went quietly and safely to Nova Scotia and P.E.I. in Canada and they were lovely and remote. This year we headed for solitude again and in addition to the worldly problems are also more immediately escaping predators in our own backyard. There have been several black bears sightings in our neighborhood.  Literally, a black bear in the preserved land out our back door as well as a black bear in a swimming pool less than 1/4 of a mile away.  With bear sighting in the daylight it puts a damper on playing outside our home as well as the constantly looming infectious deer ticks and their daily menacing behavior ominous for avid outdoors people or people who just want to walk out of their house.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE SWIMMING BEAR

On this years excursion first we took solace in our all familiar port of Malmo, the 3rd largest city in Sweden which lies across the bridge from Copenhagen.  Even after being away for 2 years it still feels like a second home we can navigate easily and all the people even speak English. Not just enough words to communicate but fluent English.  As a worldly world traveler I am not arrogant expecting to have others speak our language.  I know enough to get by in French, Spanish, and Italian and Rick’s Italian and German are bellissimo.  Once I tried to learn Swedish by audio tapes, I tried really I did but, my mouth betrayed me.  I could not get the sounds to come out correctly no matter how hard I tried.  So as he has been doing since 1989 Rick lead a Martial Arts seminar for his student Dan Johansson’s group MMA Alliance,  The students there loved the lessons and Rick looks forward to reconnecting with the group.

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After a weeklong visit we hopped on.  I may have mentioned previously that I love water.  Given a choice, Rick is more a mountain person and I the sea and salt water.  Maybe you are picturing some palm trees and sand as we are here in the islands again, this time not in the Caribbean but in Scandinavia. We went remote, super remote and quiet – Ærø, Denmark. Denmark is made up of 3 large landmasses and 2 of which are islands and then 404 more islands! The island we chose is part of the South Funen Archipelago in the south of Denmark in the Baltic Sea only accessible by ferry. And oh, you better make a reservation for the ferry because when we rolled up in our car rental to the dock and strolled leisurely into the Tourist office to inquire about the ferry departure the nice woman looked panicked. We did not come prepared with a reservation and the ferries fill up between cars and trucks heading over to the island. With her assistance we get a spot for the next departure but upon arriving we did not get a reservation for our return at the time we had hopped for.

View from the Ferry
View from the ferry

Being a green freak, I personally loved the idea of visiting this small island because it is near completely energy independent and up to a few years ago held the title for the world’s largest solar power plant. Ærø is only 22 miles by 6 miles but it’s 7,000 residents are very connected to nature and to the sustainability cause. Come on world, if a place that gets only approximately 50 hours of sunlight in December can do it what about the rest of us?

Borrowed photo of the solar panels
Borrowed photo of the solar farm

Speaking of sunlight, thankfully, Ilaria is a great sleeper at night because being so close to the Arctic Circle in the summer the sun rises at approx 4:30 a.m. and sets at approx 10:00 p.m.!  We do engineer the curtains and rig extra darkening to make sure that deep sleep happens.  We enjoy going for morning hikes but not too early!

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Escaping from reality, it is a fairy tale island; truly, in the old town most of the houses are one story tall and the oldest (still occupied) dates back to 1645. The streets are lined with hollyhocks and roses. In the main town strolling through the streets I took a photo of a particular door we found intriguing and it turns out it is not only the oldest on the island but, the oldest door in Denmark! Ærø is 22 miles by 6 miles, with 7,000 residents. The kind of island where people sell strawberries, honey, jam, and potatoes in front of their houses on the honor system, that kind of sweetness.  The nature walks were dreamy and surreal.

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Given the quaint features of this stay (and if you know us well) you will be shocked to see where we are going next. It may be the antithesis! STAY TUNED

Here we are living and still living wherever we are.

Reacquainting with Mr. Tucci

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Embracing Uncertainty, Life Lessons, Martial Arts, Travel, World Travel

The Tyrolean Alp surrounding a restaurant at a secluded mountain pass on a path to a remote Austrian village. Arriving – a sigh upon reaching a distant location and fading into obscurity. Until a James Bond moment and a subtle murmur in English with a strong German accent, “But Mr. Tucci last year was not your first year in Lech though was it? You were here before.” Recognized…

After contemplating the meaning of life and my life over a few Irish Coffees the night before, there was a need for something stronger – a solo hike up a mountain to sort it out. Carrying a metal hiking stick, originally with the intention of having a “weapon” if necessary, only to discover that truly, as in martial arts, the training is not for the purpose of fending off a predator but for self-preservation. More often then not, we are preparing not for the external enemy but for our own self-growth and self-knowledge, the internal conflict that can at times be more vicious.

Preparing for the somewhat challenging hike alone, initially the voices in the head go back and forth, round and round, attempting to solve the problems of the world and my world on a rational level. Next Type A gazes above to see the zenith and pushes to gain ground and heart rate. Starting to think about my life in phases and flashing moments and then I stopped, sat down and in a rare moment wept.   I thought about the many challenging times in my life and those people that surrounded me. Next, thoughts about how presently my mind was swarming with debates and manifestos though, in reality, all is truly well. There is no crisis.  Health, joy, and abundance abound but the numerous internal debates were not allowing enough room for gratitude and happiness with what is.  As I returned to my hike the path got significantly more challenging forcing moment-to-moment focus and presence to take hold.

Mountain traffic jam
Monk & Samurai carvings while hiking very fitting
View mid-hike
Alpine mountain flowers

I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright. ~Henry David Thoreau

Upon my decent, I came upon a trio pausing to allow my careful steps. Stopping a moment for banter about the weather and the trail as I depart a synchronicity, as the woman looking me directly in the eyes and imparts, “Take your time. No rush”.

We had many great out of doors time as a family spending time each day hiking and walking.   The purity of a child’s mind unfettered by thoughts and what we are indoctrinated as “reason” is a lesson in itself. Daily the important rituals revolve around mountain flowers, insects, conversions about fairies, and pursuing butterflies. Pursing butterflies that is with the intention of having one land and become compadres. Each day a daily moving meditation practice of learning to be still and patient then one day concentration and determination paid off. Not one new connection but THREE landed and were carried by my daughter. Pure love and faith prevailed.

Top of the Rufikopf
Geological hike discovery
Family hike selfie
Always look on the bright side of life
Butterfly friends

The weeks we extended and stayed in Lech, Austria and returned after a hiatus to the Dolomites in Italy have been like therapy for us as individuals as well as Rick and I as a couple. The arrangement at our hotel allows for much needed, uninterrupted adult time with complimentary childcare. Moments to relax, laugh, and just talk about nothings and everything in the daylight and setting sun. It did not take therapy but moments of focused attention and intention.  Just like starting over and all it took was space, nature, presence, and Irish coffee.

Relaxing!
Her new Austrian dress!
Hotel barn

As for Rick’s notoriety as mentioned at the beginning of the blog, the manager of the hotel where we stayed remembered Rick from many,many years ago at a different hotel in town. As it turns out I was not the only one to get reacquainted with him!

Laid Up, Lay Over

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Embracing Uncertainty, Life Lessons, Martial Arts, Plane Travel, Travel, World Travel

Always thrilled to be traveling, the complaints from frequent travels always seemed trite. Minus some minor hitches it has been smooth sailing for the past several years cruising the globe. Word to the wise… travel is one of the major areas affected by Mercury in retrograde.

Everyone ready to go!
Everyone ready to go!

In the United Airlines lounge prior to departure there was a rumbling, major rumbling, not thunder, a little closer to home. Maybe just a fluke or jittery nerves? Settling into our seats for our overnight flight through Brussels to Copenhagen for our travel to Malmo, Sweden there was some uneasiness. After managing a glass of red wine and our meals, that came after almost an hour and a half in the air, operation get a 4 year old to sleep on the plane was in full effect. Armrests up, mom was the pillow and dad was the leg rest – we were locked in. Dad dozing, child snoring, mom doubled over. Could it be really another case of cold seafood voodoo? Shrimp gazpacho sample from Whole Foods earlier or just cold stale plane air?

Past roommates can attest that when I retch it is not pretty nor is it quiet and there is a prolog of a cough that notoriously precedes the events, yes, events. There is never just one wave, then keep on rolling. Not that anyone is fond of expelling, but in a bathroom smaller then an automobile trunk with a line 4 deep?   Muffling the projectile like wrenching so that the flight attendant is not notified of the Ebola/Swine Flu/something not yet documented taking place. Must endure, cannot be quarantined in Brussels….

Come on 9lbs 2oz baby natural delivery, Muay Thai test getting the holy hell kicked out of you by two grown men voluntarily, pull it together. Immigration is no joke, let alone in a line following a flight that just landed from Africa and only 8, yes 8 customs’ officials to scan the abundant crowds for disease, drugs, and criminals myself being the former. Nauseously proceeding through the line supported constantly by my hugging partner, we looked like newly weds clinging to each other. Not to mention born with a spicy sense for odor and surrounded by unshowered weary travelers plus my own stench. It was a test of will. Can’t go on, must go on but for how long?

Concluding the confrontation with the officials there was only a brief, approximately 1 mile, saunter to the Air Brussels lounge. The view and breakfast display was lovely in the peripherals speeding to the ladies room. The lady in the adjacent stall must have been late for her flight because normally women wash their hands and don’t run out of bathrooms, huh that’s odd. Entering in and out one time more and the eruption is over.

Stock Brussels lounge photo (no way I would think for a picture)
Brussels Airport fun!
Catching the Train!

Onto Copenhagen, originally thrilled days earlier to contact Brussels Air and get our seats assigned row 4, all together. The stars were not having it.   The woman at the gate promptly ripped them up in our faces and relocated us to the rear of the plane, farthest rear, no recline on the seats. Our protests went unrequited and United Airlines status was met with a brick wall. The pilot felt obligated to notify us that the rear of the plane is the safest, thanks for that. The chance of an accident was very slim, the chance of a neck ache and stale air were guaranteed. Nothing to do but take our seats and laugh instead of crying about it.

The brief week in Sweden was packed with catching up with friends, taking in the sites, experiencing the city by bike and Rick’s martial arts seminar. Our home away from home and all of which were great. The seminar day one was bringing home the importance of the bread and butter basics of Kali, Silat, and empty hands. Day two was boxing and kickboxing strategies and drills, so much fun and interesting at the same time. Loved by all!

Secret garden found!
Reuniting with old playmates!
Reuniting with old playmates!
Rick’s seminar
Home away from home since 1989!

Next we depart Sweden for Italy with Mercury still in retrograde. Mama Mia here we go again!

Moving Beyond Techniques

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Embracing Uncertainty, Life Lessons, Martial Arts

Rick is on a never-ending quest; for many years he sought out Martial Arts masters to acquire an extensive repertoire of training methods and techniques. His insatiable thirst has also always continued to draw him into the deeper aspects of the Martial Arts beyond the physical. A quest not just for knowledge but, for wisdom and an understanding on deeper levels, not just for himself, but to share with his students.  As a teacher and guide he has always felt that his purpose was to contribute and raise the level of skill as well as consciousness. At a time where society is overwhelmed and bombarded by information he now sees even more clearly his role as emphasizing Martial Arts as a transformative process.  The most recent weekend immersion emphasized the importance of wisdom and understanding above additional information and physical drills.

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“Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books on the back an ass”  – Japanese Proverb

People entering the space on the first day seemed to not know what to expect.  Upon arriving they were handed a sheet of questions.  The purpose being to place them in a position to examine their own thoughts and reasoning’s behind their training as well as their perspectives on Martial Arts and its purpose.  The stage was set for reflection and then growth.

Rick emphasized his belief in the importance of the Martial Arts trained and taught the correct way.  True Martial Art’s training can bring about self–knowledge and then wisdom.  This wisdom has a particular emphasis in Martial Arts beyond other forms of yoga/meditation because it comes from interaction with others, not only stillness.  Interactions become not only enhanced in the training arena but also in life with all those that we come in contact with.

Rick's Crest

Speaking about the transformative process and the focus on truth Rick emphasized truth as not only the spoken word but also, being truthful with one’s self.  Exploring those deep corners of the soul that many are reluctant to venture into because of fear.  A true warrior has the strength to take off the mask he/she wears not only for others but also for themselves, to change the story we created and perpetuate in our mind.  Emphasis being that a true artist seeks truth because they can live no other way but in the ever-changing truth.  Attendees were shocked and dismayed when Rick requested not to be called Sifu anymore – “Call me Rick”.  Wow, talk about stripping away the past.  The pretense and ego of the simple title no longer serve him – TRUTH!

“To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”   – Buddha

The physical drills throughout the training focused on opening up the senses individually and holistically to become more in tuned with oneself.  Bringing the once simple movements into a whole other level of understanding in tune with one’s self is key to heightening ones response to interactions with others.

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Several times throughout the weekend attendees broke into small groups to initiate more intimate conversations regarding their own journeys.  This created opportunities for those to allow themselves introspection as well as expose their own perceived vulnerability.  Rick constructed many well-placed situations and opportunities for each individual to arrive at an “Ah ha” moment.

The participants throughout the seminar asked many questions and in return Rick asked many open-ended questions to the group.  Questions to ponder and take away in contributing and encouraging an everlasting quest for truth.  Martial Arts after all, as Rick emphasized, is an ongoing transformative process.

“Walk On.” – Bruce Lee

Some Seminar Attendees
Day 2 Attendees

How Did We Get Here?

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Embracing Uncertainty, Escaping Winter, Life Lessons, Martial Arts, Travel, US Travel

There is a large gap in the blogs. Yes, it is true.   Ending here in North Beach Miami, where I am writing to you now but, that was not our only step after Central American. The decision was made, in the eleventh hour, to escape the winter in California after Costa Rica.  The people on the East Coast will understand why.

Here are the snippets of the downside of our trip.  Debbie Downer no, realist yes.  These things need to be expressed from my perspective because we are those people that really take in our surroundings.  Lets just get these out of the way.

Cali Needs a Life RIng
Lovely Ojai Downtown
Ojai Groves

Ojai:   FRACKING in the  STATE PARK just near to town.  I repeat in a STATE PARK just NEAR TO TOWN – wrong on so many levels.  Factually, it is now effecting their already low water table, there are toxic levels of chemicals being released in the air, and oh by the way they are on a fault line.

Hermosa Beach:  At the time was voting on whether to allow drilling of thirty something oil wells IN the town and also offshore wells.  (Thankfully, we know now that the bill did not pass.)

Manhattan Beach:  Signs on the Pier stated not to eat the fish caught off the dock.  Upon further investigation it appears that the area from Palisades Verdes to Santa Monica is the US’ largest Super Fund site, the largest.  Endangered by sediment polluted with DDT from wastewater discharged by the Hermosa Beach many years ago.

La Jolla:  Sea lion pups are turning up on California’s iconic shores emaciated and dehydrated or already dead. Officials predict that about 70 percent of sea lion pups will die before weaning age – around April.

HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN SIGN A PETITION AND DONATE:  http://act.oceana.org/sign/pfmc_save-starving-sea-lions_2015?source=mailing&t=2&akid=4536.408151.R8GXtA

SOS – Save our Sea Lions (Huddled for Warmth)
Manhattan Pier
View from Manhattan Beach North

Californ I-I-I A!!!! Oh and NASA just reported last week that California only has one year of water left.  Hunger Games? Let’s talk the real Water Games.

But I digress…  When Rick and I were originally contemplating the intention of adding another being to this already out of balance world, a wise friend of ours reminded us that someone needs to raise the conscious ones.  Anyone ever see Idiocracy with Luke Wilson?  Seems like a wacky movie but the premise is spot on.  We also got a reminder from our friend Dana in LA, who our wee one was thrilled to see again, that Ilaria can be one of the good conduits for a higher consciousness, as I believe and hope that all coming generations will now be.  Glass half full, friends, glass half full!

We loved the Sun and Fun in Cali so now onto the fun, and there was loads.  In Ojai, hiking almost 2 hours several times was great.  That amount of time is major when you are 4 and imagine what that feels like time and distance wise.  The outdoors, nature, and uninterrupted time.  But not quiet time, for Let it Go was a go to at any moments of lag.  It does not help the fact that passers by always rave about the lovely voice, thus perpetuating it.  Over and over and over…. therapeutically, I now hear it as a mantra, a positive message the keeps rattling around and heard repeatedly during any moments of silence.

In Tow
Hiking Away!
Lone RIder

Lots of biking, in Ojai and then at the beaches, thankfully the bike trailer is a hit now even though as a 2 year old she would scream and only liked the seat on the back of the bike where she could look around and see everything.  Also renting a bike for her to ride was a bit hit, she zooms and mom gets a great jog – win/win.

Upon our return to NJ at the beginning of March, Rick gave a seminar at Princeton Academy of Martial Arts – Beyond Technique, the Art of Flow.  This was profound and I believe that it deserves it’s own Blog so you will have to follow up to hear the juicy details.

Rick's Seminar - Beyond Technique
Rick’s Seminar – Beyond Technique

We did stay in Jersey for 2 weeks = 2 snow storms, enough to enjoy, appreciate, make hot coco, and “Build a Snowman”.  The take away is that almost everyone had the same news to report, “Normally, I don’t mind the winter but, this is just too much.”  People looked beaten and battered from it and ready for it to be over.  As I write this from North Beach Miami on the first day of spring, it is snowing in New Jersey.  Sorry folks!  No worries, Jersey is tough, but tired

Want to Build A Snowman?
Want to Build A Snowman?

Case of the Missing Case

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Embracing Uncertainty, Life Lessons, Martial Arts, Travel, World Travel

A big stir was caused in Malmo during our ALMOST uneventful, in a good way, last week in Sweden.  Vitamins and supplements until recently were very difficult to purchase in Sweden.  Even today the stores are limited and the sales person cannot speak to the products at all, it is forbidden.

Upon our return to Malmo we were staying at a hotel for the first 2 days before returning to our rental apartment.  The hotel itself was lovely as was the room.  Problem #1 on the first night – our room was above the bar and there was a jazz band playing below.  The stand up bass, albeit great, was a deep boom that penetrated until after 12.  Parents out there know how precious keeping a child sleeping at night can be.  Our concern was the first night was a Thursday and although mild-mannered, on the weekends it is always “Swedes gone Wild”.  When we were told there was going to be a DJ the following night and we were close to the Little Square, party central for bars, we opted for a move to another room.  But the real trouble did not begin until the next AM…

Problem #2 – Upon waking Rick realized in our haste to abscond to the next chamber he had inadvertently left his vitamins and supplements in the drawer of the last.  Calling the front desk we were told that there was nothing listed in the log for the housekeeping and so we must wait until a reasonable hour to contact the current occupants to see if the items remained intact.  No such luck, the vitamins were not there, per the current resident of the room.  Disappearing pills really?  Some were in an unmarked vitamin box so it is speculation that someone thought that they hit the proverbial lottery.  Back and forth with housekeeping and a trip by the front desk and Rick to view the room contents, as well as a sheepish, robe covered Swed and his fetching mistress in bed, nothing turned up.  Apologies to the loving couple but from the looks of it they were in the afterglow.  We credit the staff of the hotel for their insistence with house keeping and perseverance (along with notable perspiration) that the items were returned over an hour later.  It was tenuous at best for all parties involved.

Turning Torso in the fog
Uncle Dan
Another great park near the turning Torso
Family Portrait

If you ever take a trek to Malmo, or Copenhagen for that matter, you would be amiss to not experience the remarkable waterfront architecture including the Turning Torso, the tallest building in Scandinavia which features a 90° twist, unreal, really.  The waterfront area is a created beachfront and with a truly nautical feel where Sweds congregate to enjoy the water, get some sun, and socialize.  A visit to the area places one into a completely different sensation than the city.

Rick has taught seminars in Malmo for his student Dan Johnson since 1989.  My attendance was greatly missed due to the fact that Junior High was in session. It was a difficult time negotiating with parents to let me out after 10:30 let alone cross-continental travel.  Nonetheless, Dan is one of Rick’s longest students, a dedicated martial artist and instructor, and a close friend of ours.  Plus, a very focused training partner that I enjoy training with because of his focus and concentration on the details of each motion. The difficulty each year is to expose elements of each of the arts, a session for Jun Fan, Muay Thai, Silat, and Kali.   The seminar was filled with familiar faces that we enjoy seeing each year and their improvement and dedication makes it an enjoyable place to instruct.

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Planning our route ahead we have made the decision to rent a car in Sweden and wonder our way down to our rental in the South of France about the distance from New Jersey to Florida.   Three for the road once again!

Hitting the Ground Running (and Crashing)

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Embracing Uncertainty, Life Lessons, Martial Arts, Travel, World Travel

The Danes and Swedish are reserved. Speaking softly and calmly is expected, do not do anything to draw attention to yourself, so demonstrating strong emotion in public is not socially acceptable. Conversely, traversing the brief train ride from Copenhagen airport to Malmo, Sweden just across the bridge there was an anomaly and my visceral response was deemed as appropriate. But more about that later…

Our first stop on this quest is Malmo, Sweden as Rick calls it “his second home”. It is a city of 303,873 people located just across the Øresund Bridge (one of the 7 Modern Wonders of the World) from Copenhagen, Denmark. The city is refined yet understated and in more recent years super chic and hip. For us as a family, and when we were just a couple, it is very effortless to feel at home and tranquil. We know the layout of the town and the culture, as well as our favorite coffee houses. Our friend Dan, one of Rick’s longest students, has a martial arts academy in Malmo in which Rick will give a seminar once again later this month. Dan greeted us at the train station and escorted us to a friend of his apartment that we are renting in an ideal location in town.

Almost instantaneously we get into our vibe and groove. Hitting the grocery story in the most modern mall in town sums up some of the aspects that I personally love about Malmo and Sweden, it is “Green” in lots of ways and does it in an esthetically beautiful and effortless way. The shopping center has a living wall consisting of lovely greenery and utilizing lots of skylights and natural light utilizing the plenitude certain times of the year due to the position nearby the North Pole. Also, all the sustainability practices are integrated into everyday life. Bottled water is not cool, bikes are cool, recycling is expected, and all of it integrated into everyday life and is easy and prevalent as is local, traditional food.

As a family we can feel comfortable knowing that children are an accepted and respected part of society not an inconvenience. Parents in this progressive country received 480 days of parental leave and an amount of that is reserved just for the fathers and a large percentage take advantage.   As we hit the parks everyday in between the rain showers (we try a new one everyday as there are a whopping 14 large theme playgrounds in the city) there are an equal number of dads in the parks as moms for this very reason. Even the playgrounds are esthetically beautiful, function with individual creative elements. Upon seeing one Ilaria, at the pure site, told me it was the best park she had ever seen and upon entering loved it even more.   Sweden is fantastic!

Malmo City Park

Now back to the cliffhanger…

The public trains of southern Scandinavia are neat, sleek, and timely, created to support and sustain a travels needs and baggage transport. On the day we arrived traveling to Sweden’s 3rd largest city it was unexpectedly brimming with masses of travelers and luggage, perhaps some arriving for the HUGE Eurovision competition in Copenhagen as hotel occupancy saturated and attendees spilling into the surrounding areas. Groggy, as my sleep was altered from the fact that we drilled the mantra into Ilaria that she was going to “sleep on the plane overnight, sleep on the plane overnight, sleep on the plane overnight” but did not mention it meant in her own seat and not curled on my lap. Never the less, we managed to heave and cram our bags and ourselves onto the train without a minute to spare.

Never in the many years we have taken this route, even in rush hour, has it been so crammed or the energy been so discombobulated. To create a visual these trains have cars that have fold-down seats lined on either side with open space for bikes and luggage to the back of the car is some, for lack of better description stadium seating with a narrow 3 step rise to enter the area. I set down the soft duffel bag down off to the side of the stairs and placed Ilaria seated onto it so she would be A) seated so not to be thrown around, B) resting from lack of a full nights sleep, and C) entertained by the Swedish girl approx. 2-3 in her stroller. Here is the turning point as I stood to stretch my tired and cramped legs.

A dubious character entered our car by way of descending the 3-step rise and seemed wobbly and intoxicated lumbering around. His stocky build and large, stuffed backpack forcing its way into too small of a space gave a sense of his unawareness.   Being the detective that I am, note taken that he had a 3-year-old and wife in tow, which in some way validated him – big mistake. In a matter of seconds the train pitched to the side and Mr. X violently lurched forward causing a domino effect slamming into me as I was holding the metal bar for stabilization but his mass and the velocity were no match for me. Not a chance as myself and another tumbled to the ground. In a split second the visceral response, a desperate beckon to my child in pure desperation for I could see no sign of her from my vantage point only Mr. X with his large backpack juxtaposed in the air.

Horror struck my thoughts for that brief moment could she be bent forward and crushed? No word from the little voice I revere, as people lifted Mr. X in a desperate attempt to free the rest of us a burly voice announced to the onlookers, as if they cared, “I am OK, I am OK”. A sigh of relief as the mother of Ilaria’s new playmate liberated her and lifted her to freedom holding her closely as the natural instinct of a mother from anywhere around the world would do. Still no words, Ilaria must have been in shock from the event or from the screeching call from my voice in a tone she had never heard prior. Then a few tears and she was handed over to me. He crashed onto her leg but the softness of the duffel absorbed the impact.

Välkommen tillbaka!   (Swedish for “Welcome back!”)

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Notes from the World’s Best Mom

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Life Lessons, Martial Arts, Travel, US Travel

My intention has always been to be an exceptional mother, after all I had 35 years on this planet to devise my strategy and much forethought before beginning the occupation.  But, I was not prepared for being dubbed the Best Mom in the World a bit over 3 ½ years into my tenure.  The difficult part is retaining the title, at least in one person’s eyes.

Does this look like the “Best Mother in the World” or what?

From the early moments of being with child, unconditional love permeated every fiber of my being as every mom tells you it will.  But at no time was I prepared for the absolute pure love that I was to receive in return.  Well before the age of 3 my daughter whole heartily announced daily that she was going to be a Mommy.  In an attempt to instill a sense of unlimited potentiality in the future, often I would add that she was going to do and be many things before she is a mommy.  Alrighty, now she was gong to be a ballet dancer, a martial artist, and then a mommy.  But why the Mommy fixation?  I had to know so I asked.

“Because you are the best mommy in the whole world and I want to be just like you.”  Bang – my knees got weak, no longer an infant relying on me for mere survival, the connection just got exponentially deeper and more intense.  Carefully and often encouraging her independence and original thoughts while meanwhile she was, and is, mirroring me in every way.  So often in the daily hustle and bustle it is easy to forget that after all we are and will be role models for our children not just as youngster but in our actions, behaviors, and of course our influence intentionally and unintentionally.

The gravity of the title bestowed gives one pause and reflection the same way any ceremonial crowning subconsciously and consciously elevates a person to meet the expectations of the designation.  It is not the feeling of a constant microscope, on the contrary, it is more akin to a mirror back to oneself.  In line situationally relating to WWJD as in WWTBMD, What Would “The Best Mom Do?”  I am not labeling myself as otherworldly or saintly, but do feel more patient and conscious thinking WWTBMD in lots of situations.  This does not mean all sunshine and rainbows but some deep breaths, intentional pauses, and extra hugs.  Of course, to be the best it should and does including being firm and disciplining when need be, a true sign of ultimate love.

An update on our travels:

Rick was teaching a seminar in NYC for Krav New York so we decided to stay for a beautiful spring weekend.  A whole morning spent in central park and landing for brunch at a lovely Greek restaurant in the Upper West Side – Loi.  The staff was very warm and gracious and we were enthralled to find out that the chef/owner donates 10% of all profits to an orphanage in Greece, her motherland.  Life can present constant reminders of humility and humanity.  In her restaurant and website more of a focus is on these efforts than promoting the fact that she is a celebrity chef and even cooks for Obama a few times a year.  If you ever in the city for brunch you must check it!

One gift of having a singleton is that we manage pretty well as a team and can easily and stress-free enjoy cultural adventures that some parents of multiples dare not attempt.  Being that we are not outnumbered we can always switch off to experience adult themed amusement without interrupting others experiences.  We are Beatles mega-fans so when we heard that the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts, at Lincoln Center had an exhibit “Ladies and Gentlemen…The Beatles!” that includes tour memorabilia, historic film clips, video interviews with musicians, as well as interactive exhibits of course we had to make a pit stop.

Sunday came and a four-hour seminar and a child just don’t align.  Having once never believed I could enjoy something more than martial arts, I choose some quality time with Ilaria and we headed to the West Village for a wonderful educational introduction to the theater and children’s showing of The Little Mermaid, no it was not created by Disney, this one was based on the original Hans Christian Anderson version and the mermaid (never actually given a name in the folk tale version) does not marry the prince and live happily ever after.  She loved it and seeing this experience through her was sheer joy.

Rick taught the Kali edged weapon awareness seminar to a great group of very receptive Krav Maga students some of which had a blank canvas when it came to the Filipino arts.  Interestingly, back in the PAMA archives Rick has a receipt from the main a Krav Maga schools in Israel when they bought a whole set of his instructional DVDs several few years back.  After the show, since both us gals LOVE martial arts, we immediately after headed to midtown east to check out the second half of the seminar. Great group of people to teach!

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Ah dancing, theater, and martial arts all in one day, maybe I am the Best Mom in the Whole World.  When asked what her favorite part of the show was my daughter’s reply was “Being with you Mom”.   Oh, the pressure of keeping the title!

Watching the Wheels Go Round and Round

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Embracing Uncertainty, Martial Arts

   I wish I could say that now that the business has been sold we are relaxing with nothing to do and nowhere to be.  That day will come soon enough.  In the meantime, still purging and organizing some final things for storage and the very time consuming task of transitioning various accounts to the new owner as well as changing contact info on others.  Have you ever had your wallet stolen or lost better yet, gotten divorced?  Then you have a small idea of what work goes into setting your accounts in order.   Most like to think that the online age has allowed us the freedom to supersede human interaction but, in reality, with numerous passwords and accounts it is exponentially more tiresome.

Fond farewell!
Fond farewell!

We did take time to have an intimate gathering of our closest people to bid a farewell to 14 Faber Road.  You can tell by the picture Rick and I are torn up.  Actually, it was a night of laughs and shared memories. Rick took time late in the evening to explain some of the history of the rooms and artwork that has adorned the walls for so many years. Both of us have such fond memories, with Rick spending almost ½ his life there and myself starting when I was a nieve 23 year old.  We have grown and transformed into the people that we have become both individually and as a couple.  It has not only been a location but an anchor for our spirits to reside and feel safe to express ourselves through movement, meditation, training, and teaching.

PAMA has been the first and only place in NJ to host a long list of incredible instructors, Guro Dan Inosanto, Ajarn Chai Sirisute, Diony Canete, all the Machado brothers, and a list of now deceased masters –  Pak Herman Suwanda, Punon Guro Edgar Sulite,  Sifu Larry Hartsell,  Pendekar Paul DeThouars, to name just a few. These were not just typical seminars but, in every case, involved long hours of private lessons with Rick including lots of sweat, bloody hands from Kali stroking, injured backs & body parts, and so much more. PAMA has not just been about the base level of martial arts but, also, the spiritual philosophical path with several wonderful guides and mentors such as our close friend Khempo Tenzin Darje Rinpoche, and Shamans of Peru as well as Chi Gung instructors.

Ilaria has literally grown up with PAMA as her home, her first trip being when she was a mere 2 weeks old.  She knows Uncle Mikey bought PAMA and she has visited the new PAMA but, we are awaiting the visceral response and protests when we lock the doors one last time.  Although, maybe, that is just projection of our own fears leaving the building behind.  Interesting though, she has grown up understanding non-attachment more then anyone I know.  Especially, as a child, she freely gives up clothes and toys that are no longer suited for her age or size.   Once when I lost a piece of jewelry I was very attached to she said, “It is OK mommy, things come and things go”.  At that point I had to stop grinding my teeth and let it go.  NOTE:  If you are a parent you must get the book Pete the Cat and his Groovy Buttons.

Big girl bikes – helmets required!
Doe a Deer a female Deer!
Winter PAMA Wonderland!
In the interim, as always, we make a conscious choice to spend quality, unfiltered time with Ilaria.  We had a bit of snow the other day but, at Club PAMA, it makes no matter.  On the day of the storm, Ilaria and I spent an hour riding our bikes in the 2000 sq. ft. “green room” for fun and fitness.  Of course, then she needed to ride on the children’s bike seat on the back of mine to reenact the Sound of Music.    In typical snow day fashion, the quintessential activity consisted of Rick making an authentic hand rolled snowman.  Too bad Max is no longer an employee, Rick could have had him prep the pieces like in a cooking show and Rick could have been just the finisher for the glory!  I joke of course. Rick would never deny Ilaria the experience or have a handy craft with his name/stamp on it that was not his own work.  Rick forever the artist and craftsman!

Selling the Baby

by Living Wherever We Are, posted in Embracing Uncertainty, Martial Arts
    When Rick and I first spoke of selling Princeton Academy of Martial Arts (PAMA) there were many thoughts about how do you really sell your baby.  The one that Rick birthed and raised for almost 27 years and I have known and loved for almost 16 years and have adopted.  These many years Rick has crafted EVERY detail of the Academy just so.  The attention to detail, care, and love he has poured into creating this Martial Arts Mecca, growing it from a mere seed to a World Renowned Institution.  All this was done purely for love of the Martial Arts and a passion for how the Martial Arts process can transform an individual. As other personal business owners know, we eat, sleep, and breathe PAMA.  Just like a child it was given lots of love and care.  If we sold it to someone just for a big payout, I can imagine us waking to nightmares just as one would if your daughter marries a deviant.  Whhooo, glad that has not been the case.
    I still remember the look on Mike Lee’s face when I approached him about his interest in taking over PAMA.  First it took him quite a few days to process that Rick and I would be moving on, after all, for years he has been my Chinese brother/training partner and Rick’s dedicated student for 20 years.   When I say that the three of us are close – He has traveled with us all over the world – Peru, Switzerland (2x), Sweden (5x), Paris (2x), Belgium (2x), not to mention all of the US trips, the thousand upon thousand hours of training, meals, drinks, and many, many laughs. Mike had a picture of us in his wedding slideshow as his Italian family.  We even spent Thanksgiving together this year!
The Signing
The Signing
    The closing went smoothly because leading up to it there was no infighting or no harsh negotiations between Rick, Mike, and their lawyers.  During the past few weeks before the transition Rick and I keep giving Mike additional things to help him and Rick has even decided to loan some of his more exclusive artwork to the new Princeton Academy.  Mike wants to become a successful entrepreneur and professional Martial Artist and we want nothing but success for him and for the future of PAMA.  Most closing, I imagine, are harsh, clear chop, and hand over the keys.  We are and will always be willing advisors for Mike, his extended family here for support and encouragement.
Obligatory handshake picture
Obligatory handshake picture
    Mike is moving the Academy to the new location in a few weeks and we are co-habitating 14 Farber Road but we are more then used to hanging together in close quarters.   That’s what family is about, someone who will treat your baby with the same care and intention.