Get a Watch and Get a Life

Here is a little experiment.  How many times do you check your Smartphone a day in an attempt to just look at the time?  Now how many of those times are you unintentionally pulled into the netherworld of the phone and unintentionally zapped from the present moment to be drawn to an unworldly and often unimportant rabbit hole?

Look around you and observe.  People have stopped wearing watches or at least when they are looking for the time just check their ever-present phone. It has literally been years now that I have not had a wristwatch and used my phone to fill the gap.  In December, I finally caved and got an iPhone with the intention that it would be most useful on our adventures to have a video, camera, and phone all in one to lighten my load.  It is an energy drain and I experienced freedom and became enlightened on our recent adventure.

 

We were gifted by friends to a week at a Spa Resort in North Beach Miami.  There are workout classes, workshops, a state of the arts spa, and gym but the ultimate gift – these areas are ALL listed as Cell Phone Free.  That means no calls OR texting allowed.  Ah a moment of Zen – no ringing, yammering, or people more focused on the device then those around them.  It was an odd feeling, people actually spoke to EACH OTHER, in person.  That part was a vacation in itself.  That and the fact that one of the main training rooms has two open walls to the outside with fresh air and natural light as well as Cardio Aquatics classes in the outdoor pool.  Looking around some people seemed unnerved and a bit nervous and fidgety, maybe that was from the cold turkey sans phones.  But, back to reality and outside the cocoon of the artificial rules we witnessed people standing IN the other pools on their phones and on the street someone on their bike at a red light so deeply absorbed texting that he almost got in a major accident.

 

 

From my recent lamenting about the phone AKA digital hand watch, Rick pulled me into Swatch to get a new casual, everyday watch.  I was joyful to discover a new friend, not only a watch but, a mantra.  It provides me constant remembrances – “Be Happy for this Moment”  and  “This Moment is for Life”.

Get a watch and get a little of your life back, I did!

 

Notes from the World’s Best Mom

My intention has always been to be an exceptional mother, after all I had 35 years on this planet to devise my strategy and much forethought before beginning the occupation.  But, I was not prepared for being dubbed the Best Mom in the World a bit over 3 ½ years into my tenure.  The difficult part is retaining the title, at least in one person’s eyes.

Does this look like the “Best Mother in the World” or what?

From the early moments of being with child, unconditional love permeated every fiber of my being as every mom tells you it will.  But at no time was I prepared for the absolute pure love that I was to receive in return.  Well before the age of 3 my daughter whole heartily announced daily that she was going to be a Mommy.  In an attempt to instill a sense of unlimited potentiality in the future, often I would add that she was going to do and be many things before she is a mommy.  Alrighty, now she was gong to be a ballet dancer, a martial artist, and then a mommy.  But why the Mommy fixation?  I had to know so I asked.

“Because you are the best mommy in the whole world and I want to be just like you.”  Bang – my knees got weak, no longer an infant relying on me for mere survival, the connection just got exponentially deeper and more intense.  Carefully and often encouraging her independence and original thoughts while meanwhile she was, and is, mirroring me in every way.  So often in the daily hustle and bustle it is easy to forget that after all we are and will be role models for our children not just as youngster but in our actions, behaviors, and of course our influence intentionally and unintentionally.

The gravity of the title bestowed gives one pause and reflection the same way any ceremonial crowning subconsciously and consciously elevates a person to meet the expectations of the designation.  It is not the feeling of a constant microscope, on the contrary, it is more akin to a mirror back to oneself.  In line situationally relating to WWJD as in WWTBMD, What Would “The Best Mom Do?”  I am not labeling myself as otherworldly or saintly, but do feel more patient and conscious thinking WWTBMD in lots of situations.  This does not mean all sunshine and rainbows but some deep breaths, intentional pauses, and extra hugs.  Of course, to be the best it should and does including being firm and disciplining when need be, a true sign of ultimate love.

An update on our travels:

Rick was teaching a seminar in NYC for Krav New York so we decided to stay for a beautiful spring weekend.  A whole morning spent in central park and landing for brunch at a lovely Greek restaurant in the Upper West Side – Loi.  The staff was very warm and gracious and we were enthralled to find out that the chef/owner donates 10% of all profits to an orphanage in Greece, her motherland.  Life can present constant reminders of humility and humanity.  In her restaurant and website more of a focus is on these efforts than promoting the fact that she is a celebrity chef and even cooks for Obama a few times a year.  If you ever in the city for brunch you must check it!

One gift of having a singleton is that we manage pretty well as a team and can easily and stress-free enjoy cultural adventures that some parents of multiples dare not attempt.  Being that we are not outnumbered we can always switch off to experience adult themed amusement without interrupting others experiences.  We are Beatles mega-fans so when we heard that the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts, at Lincoln Center had an exhibit “Ladies and Gentlemen…The Beatles!” that includes tour memorabilia, historic film clips, video interviews with musicians, as well as interactive exhibits of course we had to make a pit stop.

Sunday came and a four-hour seminar and a child just don’t align.  Having once never believed I could enjoy something more than martial arts, I choose some quality time with Ilaria and we headed to the West Village for a wonderful educational introduction to the theater and children’s showing of The Little Mermaid, no it was not created by Disney, this one was based on the original Hans Christian Anderson version and the mermaid (never actually given a name in the folk tale version) does not marry the prince and live happily ever after.  She loved it and seeing this experience through her was sheer joy.

Rick taught the Kali edged weapon awareness seminar to a great group of very receptive Krav Maga students some of which had a blank canvas when it came to the Filipino arts.  Interestingly, back in the PAMA archives Rick has a receipt from the main a Krav Maga schools in Israel when they bought a whole set of his instructional DVDs several few years back.  After the show, since both us gals LOVE martial arts, we immediately after headed to midtown east to check out the second half of the seminar. Great group of people to teach!

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Ah dancing, theater, and martial arts all in one day, maybe I am the Best Mom in the Whole World.  When asked what her favorite part of the show was my daughter’s reply was “Being with you Mom”.   Oh, the pressure of keeping the title!

Aliens in Jersey

All three of us were born in Jersey and have lived here all of our 101 years in total.  I studied both my undergrad and graduate classes in state and worked/lived here ever since.   The 6-½ weeks away was the longest stretch that any of us has ever spent out of state EVER.  Jersey runs deep in our blood and it has been motherland, a place of sacred memories.

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Upon landing in Newark there was a surprisingly unfamiliar, unsettling feeling and stillness.  As we stepped outside air bathed us with a chill and that New Jersey “je ne sais quoi” quality.  We made the drive home with our trusty ex-employee Max.  Although we have taken this route with him back from the airport on numerous occasions, this was the first time the conversation was not an immediate return to realism with a briefing of all things PAMA business related.  Usually we hit the ground running, being catapulted directly into reality with little time for niceties.  On this day there were moments of stillness, chuckles, and small talk.

Once we were on our own in the car Rick and I exchange our feelings and commiserate about our outlooks of feeling like strangers in a strange land.  Fittingly, turning on the radio the words blare and resonate, “Help me get my feet back on the ground.  Won’t you please, please help me?”

Upon stopping in our familiar grocery store for a coffee and rations it was a surreal feeling like when a spirit passes to another world and is walking amongst this world unrecognized, unacknowledged.  The world around us, zooming and flurring as our bodies glide through seamlessly untouched.  Leaving the parking lot and SCREECH………. Time speeds up and we are brought to reality when a Jersey driver ran a stop sign, almost ramming us in a T formation as we turned in front of him.  OM, OM, and OMG, with a shiver the Jersey Girl in me takes back my body.  Giving the appropriate “What the Hey?” question mark arm gesture (no, not a hand gesture I am a lady after all) we were greeted and acknowledged by a horn and reciprocal gesticulation of disapproval, no sign of acknowledging his error.  Immediately brought back to our bodies and reality.  As a story a teacher of ours once shared it is easy to mediate in stillness and calmness.  Now try it while sitting in a half lotus with a sharp, pointed rock under your rump.

What the F, welcome back to Jersey and yes, STOP signs are a mere suggestion.

Do Something with Yourself

In the past for me visions of Florida conjure images of strip malls, slow drivers, and of course, as mentioned in my previous blog, gators and crocs. My new list consists of natural beauty, wildlife, and culture in the Sunshine State, filled with nothing for us to do.

Landing in Miami we started our quest via auto through Key Largo (see last blog for the almost gory details) and spend a few lovely weeks in Key West. “Key” is derived from the Spanish Cayo, meaning Small Island. After doing my research I learned that amazingly there are 1700 islands in the archipelago of the Florida Keys! Only 43 of the islands are connected via bridges and even after having driven this route from Miami I had no idea.

When we found ourselves in Key West it took but a breath and a sigh to let go and feel a part of the space surrounding us. We have been in Costa Rica for a few weeks every year for the past 3 years, 4 including this one so it was not until we landed ourselves on the Atlantic shoreline very close to the Gulf Coast that it became “real” for us. We were on an extended break. I refrained posting the beautiful pictures to Facebook during the most frigid of temperatures for fear of converting friends to frenemies.

 

When we spent 2 ½ weeks in the Keys, we loved it and found the rhythm melodious for our liking. Yes, we were blessed to stay in a lovely guesthouse overlooking the ocean but more we felt more then that. The local people were very friendly and welcoming. Not just in restaurants and shops but parks and beaches as well as a lovely woman and her son that we were lucky to get connected with and hung out with our daughter a few times. When we have visited places such as Key West and Sedona for examples there is a certain energy that the people exude. One thought is that these places are filled with natural beauty and nature, tourism is THE industry. For the average person to live there they have to make a conscious effort to transplant themselves, for the most part a career is not going to implant them in these locals. They are drawn there by their hearts and desires.

 

Right now it is a bit difficult to grasp that we don’t have to DO something. At this point we can consider ourselves frequency holders for a time. But, inherent to our nature as self-motivated, fervent people and society instilled beliefs, at times can difficult to grasp the concept of not doing anything specific but be in the moment. Yes, raising a child is the most important job one can do and that is sheer joy daily but not really to much of anything else unless of course if we are inspired to do so. After conversations regarding this issue and hearing about yet more snow in the Northeast we decided to extend our stay another week. (Yes, this blog is later then it should be hence the title of the blog.)

We took ourselves past Coconut Grove in Miami and headed to the Gulf coast to see Sanibel Island and visit with Rick’s Sister-In-Law in Fort Myers. The island is a throw back surrounded my nature and all local independent stores; there are no traffic lights and lots of people bike around the many bike paths.   Love, love, loved it. Walking on the beach as the sunrises is my idea of doing nothing.

 

 

 

 

Sunshine and Styrofoam

Paradise in the Keys but… sitting down to our first meal in the Florida Keys with great anticipation of some fresh caught delicacy and there IT was, brought in and casually placed down on the table in front of us. Shocked, I let out an audible gasp and then Rick said “What the?”. As it turns out it was not to be our first sighting in the Keys. Like Boom Boxes and the Scrunchie we thought it had been on the way to becoming an urban myth.

Beautiful Key West
Beautiful Key West

There it was staring us in the face, a Styrofoam™ (styrene) cup with a lid for my three-year old’s water. Really? My heart ached as we saw the repugnant receptacles over and over again, more foam then I have seen in the past 10 years! In restaurants, coffee houses, ice cream shops, and people carrying left overs, the white yeti reared its head. Holistic and green purveyor, I carry the mindset as well as gear with us on our travels. Travel water bottle, reusable shopping bag, reusable travel snack baggies, and of stainless steel travel silverware have come on walkabout and used daily thus sparing countless plastic in the forms of bags, bottles, extra packaging for snacks as well as spoons, forks, and sporks.“Green Enlightened”, once you become enlightened to this waste and damage to the earth or for those who think that is hokey – selfishly think of all the toxins you are ingesting from this one and done lethal crap, plastic included. Ask for our coffee in ceramic cups to stay when you can (it tastes much better anyway) and selflessly, to spare the earth of course, suffer through an ice cream cone instead of a cup. There are some necessary evils in travel, a paper cup now and again for espresso, they decompose, but Styrofoam is an unacceptable instant noxious shock . Did you ever drink a hot drink out of one? Yes, the hot melted plastic tasting caffeine rush is just ungodly venomous.

This is a horror to me that my child or any child would consume something from this container, let alone the environmental impacts of the remnants of this vile substance.  It takes over 500 YEARS to decompose!  I could have easily taken a hundred of photos. Hauntingly, not just in the places that used these products but also on beaches, parks, and sidewalks.  Most frightening is that I found pieces broken up on beaches and parks. This material is notorious for breaking up into pieces that choke animals and clog their digestive systems. Blanco Tóxico easily blows into the water and then floats!  Blessing that there are so many Wildlife Refuges and Rescues but, get to the source.

What the hell Miami and the Keys? We crisscross the continent and the globe and never, in recent years, seen such an outbreak.  Many cities have downright outlawed it, even Taiwan for goodness sakes!  White hairs does not need to = white products.

****The EPA and International Agency for Research on Cancer have determined styrene as a possible human carcinogen and the National Bureau of Standards Center for Fire Research found 57 chemical by-products released during the creation of Styrofoam.

Life Near Death: Beware of the Crocodilians

We had made it clear to ourselves and our readers that we were searching for adventure and uncertainty but, we had no idea where our trip to the Florida Keys would first lead us and how close we could come to an old foe.

As a child I had the joy of connecting with nature on a fantastic outing to Okefenokee Swamp, one of North America’s most unspoiled, fascinating, and precious natural areas. The website touts it as the largest, intact, un-fragmented, freshwater and black water wilderness swamp in North America.  What a beautiful wildlife encounter…  that has haunted my nightmares ever since, perpetrating my nights every few months.   Who takes a small child who is susceptible to known alligator infested waters?  My sadistic family!  During that fantastic journey we took a voyage on a tour boat in which we saw gators on either side – eyes sticking out of the water peering at us with devious intentions, on land slithering back into the water retiring to a discrete observation point, and of course taunting on a shore near the visitors center but a small island away.  In defense, my mother was petrified adding to my angst but I do believe that my Aunt thought it was immense family fun.  Truly a momentous trip not to be forgotten, literally.  Please keep in mind that normally these reptiles retreat from adults as they feel threatened but, have been known to attack small children and small dogs.  I was 4.

Empathetic to Captain Hook from Peter Pan, looking for his adversary and being haunted by the ever present tick- tock of the Crocodile biding it’s time awaiting another opportunity for an encounter.  None the less, together Rick and I have seen and swam near Cayman in jungles of Peru and Mexico and while on a solo jungle adventure in the rainy season of Costa Rica 5 years ago heard a large splash into the river that could have only been a substantial Crocodile sliding into the banks.  After spending many adult years putting the trauma of my childhood behind me and convincing myself that my terrors were unrealistic due to the reality that I am a full-grown adult capable of fending off the beast, my adversary has once again made it known to us and our wee one, perfect size for bait.

We decided to stay overnight in Key Largo, meandering our way down the Florida Keys to Key West. The night before the events described below was ominous.  As we turned to walk from our hotel beach area at dusk, I snatched our daughter mid-step from trampling on a brightly colored snake making its way through the path.  Devout on remaining unruffled and not inflicting emotional scars by our over reaction at a possibly poisonous snake, we casually headed inside reminding her how all animals are our friends and part of nature and the earth. We all live together, we live in right relationship with them and all is well.  That is of course as long as you stay out of their path and habitat.

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The next morning I mentioned to Rick the only thing I really wanted to do is Canoe at the John Pennekamp State Park, famed for its coral reefs, but also know for its mangroves. Something interesting for all of us to experience, as well as enjoying the outdoors.  Touristy trap excursions that are commercial and fixed are not really our thing.  We could create our own adventure and that we did. At the registration stand they mentioned that canoes were unavailable because of winds so we would have to take a tandem kayak and the child could sit on a make shift seat in between.  Given that we made the mistake of telling a 3-year-old of our intentions in advance we were committed, kayak it was to be.  Have you been on a kayak before?  Yes, lots of fun for the maneuverability and very close to the water.  Have you been on a tandem kayak with a third AKA a squirmy child?   Not quite the same throw caution to the wind, freedom.  I chose to be the rear seat wanting the extra work out and Rick took the makeshift map and set himself in front.  All I remember was the man getting us together and tracing the route with his finger and “there are places where it is a tight squeeze, you’ll need to move branches”.

From the moment we got into the kayak our unity was mislaid, our synchronism was not there. We got moving through the main thoroughfare into the mangroves.  An insistent little voice, “mommy I want to paddle”.  What harm could that be?  I attempted to lift my paddle over her head for fun and the kayak violently shift almost launching us all overboard.  An awkward movement, a laugh, and ha-ha we could have all gotten wet.  We now have a good little swimmer and all have life vests, no biggie.  A few more feet away there was a wooden pier into the mangroves for pedestrians to view into untainted Mother Nature.  All occurring in a matter of seconds I said to Rick, “I can see the shore and it is getting too narrow, turn around.”  As these words slipped from my lips, I notice a  few feet away a hand full of people gathered on the boards staring in the water, and only one woman mentions, barely over a whisper, I am assuming not to frighten the animal, “Oh, you might not want to go near that large crocodile we are looking at.”  Might?  Might?

Obvious stock photo
Obvious stock photo

I, concerned for the safety of my bait-sized, bite-sized child, centered myself like never before, calling on every power of courage as only a true warrior can.  A great Tibetan teacher once said that being fearless is not about the absence of fear but moving beyond it.  Rick, to assess the situation or as a natural reaction from the woman’s comments, turns to look at our scaled friend and then so does my daughter.  In an effort not to cause the boat to rock, single point of focus and strategically,  I calmly tell Rick not to look forward and to plow ahead.  Keep in mind that throughout this whole process a plastic kayak, which we are much less familiar with, is not like or by any means as sturdy as a metal canoe.  I start to power through the strokes and the kayak rocks from the sudden shift of energy.  Deep breath, steady, calm and we glide through the water in unison this time, lockstep – every stride glancing questionably at branches and coral sticking out of the water as we head back to the launch point.

Believe it or not - this is the after shot!
Believe it or not – this is the after shot!

My daughter will not be tortured from the occurrence as I was as a child and now calmly as an adult.  Her parents remained centered and cool the entire time just like the Crocodilian.  Some might ask, “What did you expect in the Everglades?” Yes, we were in their habitat but, really in this time of litigation, there were no mentions on the state park’s websites about crocs, which used to be an endangered species.  Nothing in the paperwork at the registration and hey, no one coached us prior to launch “oh just in case you get in a pickle that flimsy kayak paddle which is not high quality (thank you national parks) will not be of any use because it feels as if it might break from a hard push in the water let alone a jaw clamping it or shoeing away a large reptile”. Yes, the woman who warned us said large.  I can still hear her words ringing in my ears along with a faint tick-tock.

A key west croc
A Key West croc

Coloring Beyond the Lines

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Honestly, it is not effortless for me to watch as the crayon unabashedly entwines and encircles the page, using the word strays would be a huge understatement.  It has been a genuine conscious effort on my part, as a Type A personality, to fight the urge to correct, interject, direct, or even model what society considers a flawless coloring sheet.  You know – seamless completion, limited white space, and of course appropriate colors for each space, although in this age pink hair is applicable. My daughter is almost 3 ½ and her pages have looked the same for years now and she loves it and with great fervor and zest she creates her masterpiece.  Now, we are not these types of coddling parents that say how you should not hurt the child’s feelings or make them feel un-special.  Simply put, we refuse to narrow her possibilities.

This blog will not be taken up to alternatively boast about our daughter’s heighted intellect and other benchmarked accomplishments, all of which quantitatively mean a minuet amount in the long run.   The connection between this topic and our current life premise is distinct.  One motive of why we have chosen our path is to be an exemplar on living beyond the lines and how, by doing so, our child is learning skills infinitely more valuable than staying inside the black ink creating secondhand art.

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Opening her horizons and ours this week we went on another brief jaunt to NYC.   Our application is awaiting the creation of the Amazing Race +1, which not only includes a couple but also a child.  (Although, by the looks of some families in airports that might be considered child abuse.)  Nonetheless, we are golden and ready to collect our $1 Million.  Train, taxi, subway, and bus plus riding on mom’s back as we hoof it through the streets all within the first 6 hours.  All smiles and belting out her own original songs about New York.  Ah, unique art in its purest form – a child’s voice!

Getting Lost in NYC

Quickly and uneventfully the turn style clicked me thru.  In an instant the little one and I were on one side and Rick now trapped back on the other.  An empty subway card, hoards of people, and massive recharge lines for Metro Cards.  Normally a battle plan could be put into place, not on this day or time, forget it no time.  Grand Central Station, the night before the night before Christmas, the beginning of rush hour.  Holding a three-year old incommunicado in the bowels of NYC waiting for the site of Rick come shooting through the turn style.   Good thing we are strategist, keen and attentive trackers………

Rick and I made a decision many years ago to forgo the material torment of Christmas for the experiential.  Each festive holiday season we transplant ourselves on a jaunt to enjoy each other’s company somewhat removed.  When we became parents we kept our pledge to remain devoted to preserving our love for holiday travel.  Our cherished tradition continued these past three years traveling to Cali, NYC, and Asheville, NC as a threesome.  The difference these most current years has been that, to avoid traffic and crowds, we actually traveled home ON Christmas Day.  Sounds crazy but the airports are desolate and the roads are stark, in addition, those who are coerced into representing the commercial sector are actually warm and the holiday spirit exudes, maybe from drinking eggnog on the job or the double time pay

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours!

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Our decision thisyear was to go away, yet again, to New York City but the difference this year, that we decided to return home on Christmas Eve.  Ironically and contradictory to this coming year where we will spend time everywhere but.  So New York City for the holidays?  The masses, the chaos!  Well, yes, at some of the touristy stops but the city itself is a living entity that can absorb you immediately.   You can get lost in the feeling of its magnitude while at the same time feel the intimacy of it.  

Overall, as we have encountered for past frequent trips, New Yorkers are very friendly and there is always such a grander sense of community.   People are very aware of each other physically as well as energetically.  Maybe it is because people live in such a close proximity to each other and must interact so often?  Whatever the reason the culture, the diversity, and the people make NY such a memorable place, one that cannot be duplicated anywhere else in the world. Everywhere we went this trip people spoke directly to and even more often smiled and commented to us as well as our little one.  This does not happen nearly as much in the greater Princeton Area.

Some sights and stops were planned – a trip to the Parker Meridian to see the City Harvest Gingerbread Competition.  A fundraiser for the city’s hungry men, women, and children.  Unexpected moments of the 70 degree and sunny weather our first day included, the Green Market on the Upper West side equipped with a pop up Opera company that stopped playing some refined classical holiday favorites to share Rudolf with us so we could sing along and an organic baker that gifted a gingerbread girl to our girl.  The hit of the jaunt?  An excursion to the Swedish Cottage in Central Park for a marionette show – the Three Bears Holiday Bash.  Such an intimate event where we sat on benches and the crowd sang along and interacted to this unique event.  In the dark, one row ahead, and I don’t think our child turned around once unprompted to see if we were still there.  Transfixed by the magic and mystery!

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One day was took a short subway to the MTA museum to see the miniature train that they have set up for the season, something so simple and quaint in an unexpected place, great for a rainy afternoon.  And well, yes, we did lose each other on the subway that crowded day at Grand Central and have to  rendezvous at our hotel.  No worries, when I got onto the overflowing subway carrying an almost 40 lbs body on my hip immediately a gentleman rose to let me sit.  The city always seems to welcome us back – Lost but not alone.

Merry Christmas to All!
Christmas in NYC

Move Over Willy Nelson

On the Road Again… That was the theme of our recent exploration of California.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXe1jtS7k28

The original estimates notwithstanding, here is a glance at the actuals:

10 Nights

8 Hotels (Including a pre-trip Newark Airport hotel)

20 Stops (Meaning a meal, coffee, or sleeping)

And a whopping 1123-Miles when we dropped of the rental car

A Visual
A Visual

So why the healthy jaunt through Cali?  It was a multi-faceted excursion and very practical (in theory only).  We wanted to catch up with some old friends while simultaneously cramming in every part of California we could possibly explore for future inhabitance.  This petite window helped us to rule out some parts of California for future living.   SEE RESULTS LATER IN THE BLOG

We are exploring California intently because there are many things about the state itself that we appreciate.  As a resident of the state, Bill Maher summed up many great points via his “New Rule” method.  Beside those points the weather and alternative public charter school funding and support are both sizeable pluses.

Every day 1 of traveling amazingly our daughter goes to sleep at 8:00 PM, even during travels into a different time zones.  This trip was no exception.  Over the years several people have asked if that is when we, the adults, turn down. Oh no, no, no.  Our secret hide-away, especially in warm climate or in this case not so warm, is always a room with a balcony or when not outrageous, a suite. In Cali this time of the year, balconies consisted of layers, a scarf, and one night, a very strong contact high.  A friend with 2 children once suggested always get a hotel room with a big closet and make it a special treat with lots of pillows and blankets to tuck her in but I would feel too guilty and besides 3 in a king size bed is not bad. After one early rising, I did do something I promised as a parent I would not do.  The unthinkablea bribe of a gluten-free cupcake or treat that day if she went back to sleep and it worked like a charm (OK, more than once).  Alright, so it was a win-win and in California these are easy to come by.

Checklist of the abundant accomplishments this excursion included:

  • Trip to see amazing healer in Fullerton.   Ancient Chinese secret – our lips are sealed!
  • Watched the remarkable Alberto Villoldo PhD speak to his organization, The Four Winds Society, and reuniting Alumni from his classes.  The consummate orator Alberto never disappoints.  Also got to sit with him and his partner Marcella and reconnect with some other people that we have met through the organization.
  • Bruce Lipton lecture – WOW!  Simply astounding.  Oh just a little epigenetics and cellular biology defining the molecular pathways connecting the mind and body.
  • Time spent with the Drunken Taoist, Daniele Bolelli a favorite Italian Martial Artist of ours.  Daniele, an author, was originally introduced to us when he wrote the Martial Arts book On the Warrior’s Path.  It was great to catch up and have our daughters meet for the first time.
  • Santa Barbara – Lovely, lots of elements that we enjoyed.  Along with other spots in Ventura County we appreciate it for the Arts, Culture, and greenery.
  • Monterey Bay– This was just a stopping point for us on our trek.  Great vistas but wow the pier restaurant hawkers were bordering on belligerent!  Sorry we don’t want your chowder sample or to eat at your tourist trap.  We did however as you can see from our last blog Enter the Travel Guru enjoy some tasty authentic Brittany-style crepes on the pier at the Crepes of Brittany.

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Here is where things start to get blurry.  Onwards towards the Bay Area, the rest of our trip, which was supposed to be more investigative, was somewhat transformed into touring time.  We could tell right away that it did not feel right for us permanently.  Berkeley, which was supposed to be 2 days, we changed just to a lunch, too concrete jungle.  Petaluma – nice but obviously very San Fran suburbish.  Wine Country – Beautiful but touristy. Los Gatos – Nice to visit but can you say Stepford Wives?  We did manage to squeeze in a visit with my artist friend Tara de la Garza and family but bummed that it did not line up for a visit to my author friend E.V. Anderson.  By the end we realized that we were way to ambitious but got the information we were looking for.

Although we love travel and seeing new places switching hotels that many times is crazy and unadvisable unless running from the law or driving cross country on a deadline.  Contrasting hotels in other countries, most American hotel breakfasts include a personal hell filled with over-processed, high-carb foods so that is a pass for us and we head out early.  Our plans for big travels include renting places for a few weeks to a month and ah yes, breakfast sitting in our PJs.

With that many miles logged we could not help but play a healthy game of cat and mouse.  Not with the police, mind you, but our old foe the GPS.

  1. In park, set the destination and receive the arrival time.
  2. Finito.  Arrive at that time.

This technology is incredible and must be far more developed then we can comprehend.  No matter how fast our pace the arrival time never seems to get any nearer.  During the infrequent moments when it does, we are destined to encounter a speed trap thus requiring a bit more time be consumed.  Is the technology really that high tech or maybe, just maybe, we are monitored even more then we realize and the Matrix already knows our speed habits?  Our profile definitely fits the compulsive and competitive lead foots so we are categorize and triumphed over on every occasion.   Ok, one time we won by 5 minutes but that small trophy was not very gratifying for blowing 85 in a 55 plus all of the additional energy spent praying to the police gods promising to be good if they turn a blind eye once again.

Without further ado onto the results…

For us, Southern California.  We will see in the end but in contention nonetheless.

Tuckered out we returned to New Jersey with no traffic tickets and our gained wisdom of the 3rd largest state only to get catapulted right into the tumultuous packing Rick’s personal effects from PAMA and the taking apart our home.  It is daunting and exhilarating all at once, collapsing and deconstructing not only the physical but also the Egos attached to it all.  We are making progress on all accounts and in the mist of it all my ever resilient partner is planning out his seminar for this Saturday, his last as owner of PAMA 😦 🙂

Next blog:

-About the “Last Lecture” seminar

Enter the Travel Guru

Fitting sign from our recent trip!
Fitting sign from our present excursion!

How did we decide to become sojourners?  Some background:

Rick and I do not make take grand decisions lightly.  We have been contemplating a move for quite sometime.  How long?  Believe it or not since 2008.  We think BIG.  Places we have examined in detail and even house hunted and bid on houses including as near as Hopewell, NJ and as far away as Chile, Southern Sweden, Nicoya Peninsula Costa Rica, Ojai CA, Sedona AZ, and Asheville NC.  Other visits and research include but not limited to Boulder CO, Brattleboro VT, and Great Barrington MA.   All great places but in all cases things did not seem to click or materialize for us as they should, so the search continues………

Comments and suggestions welcomed!  PS we are of Mediterranean decent, moderate climate preferred 🙂 

Our Search
Our Search

We began this process and intention as a couple and continued when our 2 became 3 with more fervor.  We feel even more of a desire for a community with creative like-minded people, nature, sustainability, art, and culture.  How can we continue the search with a 3-year-old in tow?  Easily when the origin of her name is Happy Woman/Bringer of Joy.  For those of you who know her, she is without a doubt just that and one hell of a seasoned traveler already.  Starting at 3 months she has already racked up frequent flyer miles going to Europe 3X, Central America 3x, the Caribbean 1X, crisscrossing the US 13X by plane not to mention long car rides up the East Coast.  The apple doesn’t fall far from the trees.

As I write this we are mid-trip driving up the coast of Cali.  OK, READY?  You may get tired just from reading this……… 10 days, 12+ stops, 6 hotels, 816+ driving miles (+ local miles) and lots of investigating and examining for a possible future location for our family after our sabbatical.  Very ambitious for just two adults let alone with a little one and she does not watch TV so the car rides are creative.

Crepe connoisseur Monterey Bay
Crepe connoisseur Monterey Bay

It has been a lesson for us from our little buddha. In anticipation of our trips around the world Rick and I are being schooled with some great travel wisdom that will truly come in handy.

  1. Why not wear your favorite clothes over and over?  Favorites over function, if you find them after rifling in the suitcase it doesn’t matter if they are worn and possibly with stains.  You need much less than you think.  Leave the rest home and this will make the packing very light.
  2. In adverse situation with controversy between travel companions just be quiet.   Testy when our blood sugar drops?  Simply said, “Mom and Dad stop talking to each other.”  Done, problem solved – Ferme la bouche!
  3. No matter where you are the place where you sleep is “Home”.  As in – after dinner 3-hour time difference and you are kept awake in anticipation of the 1-hour Fall Back daylight savings time change, “I am really tired, I really want to go home —- I want to go to the hotel.”  Ah embracing the blog namesake.
Fitting Quote found on LA wall!
Fitting Quote found on LA wall!

– Saving the Cali trip details for the next blog but here is a teaser:  It involves world-renowned authors and friends Daniele Bolelli and Alberto Villoldo as well as  Bruce Lipton.