Rick puts his foot down

We neatly and tightly packed our rental car in Malmo. It is best for our travels to choose the most compact car that also meet our cargo needs, the French squeeze cars into tinier parking spots that one can imagine (maybe that is why the ordered trains that did not fit, they just assumed that they could squeeze them into the station) so we must be prepared.   When motoring in Europe it is key to have all of your baggage tucked away neatly as to not tempt someone to try and take a peak inside looking for valuables. The baggage cover for the back of the wagon must close cleanly so it initial made for several attempts to jigsaw puzzle the pieces just so.

Luggage jenga
Luggage jenga

As we set out we seemed to have thought of everything:

  • Snacks
  • Luggage
  • Water
  • GPS
  • Toys and Games
  • Maps of Denmark, Germany, and France

The best laid plans… We thought of almost everything that is. As much as we know the layout of the downtown of Malmo, the surrounding areas we have never had the need to master. Told by all, just follow the signs to the Oresund Bridge to Denmark alas there are no such signs. We asked people, several people, and it became comical much like a practical joke bit. One person points us one direction and tells us to proceed forward and look for signs – no signs.   Next, ask another and turn the completely opposite direction, search for signs once again, all for naught. Three passes, several people, and many minutes later we found the bridge hoping that was not an omen for our departure and impending travel onward!

Prior to leaving Sweden one of the students at the seminar said, “Oh, so you have all the places mapped out where you are stopping as you drive down to the Mediterranean?” The answer – a big NO! We had some knowledge and ideas of what could be interesting to see but left it to our moods and our rumps to make a decision where to stop and where to rest. All we knew upon starting was our end point a substancial distance away from Scandinavia – the South of France in Sainte Maxime directly across the bay from St. Tropez. Next question, “Why drive?” We knew that we have to start and end in Sweden, the place where we received our extended visa to allow us in Europe for over three months. Another factor is that we did not want to be burdened buy planning our flights in advance, freestyle for us.

Our first leg was across Demark. Most people, myself included are unaware that Demark consists of 407 islands and a mainland connected to Germany, integrated with a connection of crisscrossing of bridges and ferries. We opted for a route of highway and bridges across and then down into Germany.  On our first day we stopped when we got tired of driving and pulled off the road to a quaint, lovely town at a Park like hotel in Bad Falingsbostel, Germany. Day 2, our power day, we plowed to Trier, Germany. Trier has many ancient Roman ruins; another fact some do not realize is that German and France have amazing and well-preserved ancient Roman ruins (with fewer crowds then Rome). Day 3 we enjoyed lots of Roman Ruins before taking an almost lovely drive down through the Mosel Valley stopping leisurely in Luxingborg to enjoy a glass of notorious local white wine.  Now, when saying almost there were few factors, a picturesque town outside of Trier that we stopped for lunch and then 45 minutes we spent hunting up and down for a gas station, backtracking to get it and then proceeding forward. The Mosel wine on the river in Luxemburg was blissfully until a bit down the way afterwards, the road stopped, no warning, backtracking us once again – Buzz kill.

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We ended that night in Nancy, France, much larger then we anticipated but with a massive square lots of gold gild or as our daughter called it, of course, fancy Nancy. Day 4 continuing forth we stopped in Macon, France on our way to Orange, France. Orange is a picturesque village, again with ancient Roman ruins but much more intimate of a place. The Roman amphitheater is breathtaking and awe inspiring examining the architecture and longevity of the master masons’ work. Day 5 our final stop Arles, France massive, overrun with tourists. Our highlight was eating in Van Gogh’s café and visiting the hospital where he was detained after cutting his ear off. Our dining companion happened to be wearing her sunflower headband and happily waved at all of the Asian tourists taking pictures of her at the café.

The Route
The Route

If all of the road time seems a bit overwhelming please not that one significant difference when motoring in Europe is their rest stops. Being from New Jersey I equate a rest stop with dirty fast food and grungy toilets. Sorry Jersey, but we all know that is true. In Europe it is dissimilar. Some if not all have nice cafes, real food, and sit down restaurants with servers, oh and some expensive cars and well dressed people. The Europeans travel a bit different from us Americans. Personally I have memories of powering though drives up and down the coast to get to a destination. They stop, have a coffee and pastry, relax, and chitchat slightly removed from a rumbling highway. No dodging in and out of the bathroom and grabbing something nearly edible to eat in the car. It fascinates me, quite a different pace. Also much to a child’s delight almost all have a kids area or playground of some sort. On our power day of driving Adults delirious and kid enthralled that she got to go to so many playgrounds in one day. As Ilaria and the Europeans can tell you it is all about perspective.

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After 5 days – Nous Arrivons – We Arrive. We are resting comfortably in the South of France at our apartment rental intended for three weeks, the only set plans we have left on our excursion. Suggestions welcomed in the comments section of the blog.

Case of the Missing Case

A big stir was caused in Malmo during our ALMOST uneventful, in a good way, last week in Sweden.  Vitamins and supplements until recently were very difficult to purchase in Sweden.  Even today the stores are limited and the sales person cannot speak to the products at all, it is forbidden.

Upon our return to Malmo we were staying at a hotel for the first 2 days before returning to our rental apartment.  The hotel itself was lovely as was the room.  Problem #1 on the first night – our room was above the bar and there was a jazz band playing below.  The stand up bass, albeit great, was a deep boom that penetrated until after 12.  Parents out there know how precious keeping a child sleeping at night can be.  Our concern was the first night was a Thursday and although mild-mannered, on the weekends it is always “Swedes gone Wild”.  When we were told there was going to be a DJ the following night and we were close to the Little Square, party central for bars, we opted for a move to another room.  But the real trouble did not begin until the next AM…

Problem #2 – Upon waking Rick realized in our haste to abscond to the next chamber he had inadvertently left his vitamins and supplements in the drawer of the last.  Calling the front desk we were told that there was nothing listed in the log for the housekeeping and so we must wait until a reasonable hour to contact the current occupants to see if the items remained intact.  No such luck, the vitamins were not there, per the current resident of the room.  Disappearing pills really?  Some were in an unmarked vitamin box so it is speculation that someone thought that they hit the proverbial lottery.  Back and forth with housekeeping and a trip by the front desk and Rick to view the room contents, as well as a sheepish, robe covered Swed and his fetching mistress in bed, nothing turned up.  Apologies to the loving couple but from the looks of it they were in the afterglow.  We credit the staff of the hotel for their insistence with house keeping and perseverance (along with notable perspiration) that the items were returned over an hour later.  It was tenuous at best for all parties involved.

If you ever take a trek to Malmo, or Copenhagen for that matter, you would be amiss to not experience the remarkable waterfront architecture including the Turning Torso, the tallest building in Scandinavia which features a 90° twist, unreal, really.  The waterfront area is a created beachfront and with a truly nautical feel where Sweds congregate to enjoy the water, get some sun, and socialize.  A visit to the area places one into a completely different sensation than the city.

Rick has taught seminars in Malmo for his student Dan Johnson since 1989.  My attendance was greatly missed due to the fact that Junior High was in session. It was a difficult time negotiating with parents to let me out after 10:30 let alone cross-continental travel.  Nonetheless, Dan is one of Rick’s longest students, a dedicated martial artist and instructor, and a close friend of ours.  Plus, a very focused training partner that I enjoy training with because of his focus and concentration on the details of each motion. The difficulty each year is to expose elements of each of the arts, a session for Jun Fan, Muay Thai, Silat, and Kali.   The seminar was filled with familiar faces that we enjoy seeing each year and their improvement and dedication makes it an enjoyable place to instruct.

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Planning our route ahead we have made the decision to rent a car in Sweden and wonder our way down to our rental in the South of France about the distance from New Jersey to Florida.   Three for the road once again!

Get a Watch and Get a Life

Here is a little experiment.  How many times do you check your Smartphone a day in an attempt to just look at the time?  Now how many of those times are you unintentionally pulled into the netherworld of the phone and unintentionally zapped from the present moment to be drawn to an unworldly and often unimportant rabbit hole?

Look around you and observe.  People have stopped wearing watches or at least when they are looking for the time just check their ever-present phone. It has literally been years now that I have not had a wristwatch and used my phone to fill the gap.  In December, I finally caved and got an iPhone with the intention that it would be most useful on our adventures to have a video, camera, and phone all in one to lighten my load.  It is an energy drain and I experienced freedom and became enlightened on our recent adventure.

 

We were gifted by friends to a week at a Spa Resort in North Beach Miami.  There are workout classes, workshops, a state of the arts spa, and gym but the ultimate gift – these areas are ALL listed as Cell Phone Free.  That means no calls OR texting allowed.  Ah a moment of Zen – no ringing, yammering, or people more focused on the device then those around them.  It was an odd feeling, people actually spoke to EACH OTHER, in person.  That part was a vacation in itself.  That and the fact that one of the main training rooms has two open walls to the outside with fresh air and natural light as well as Cardio Aquatics classes in the outdoor pool.  Looking around some people seemed unnerved and a bit nervous and fidgety, maybe that was from the cold turkey sans phones.  But, back to reality and outside the cocoon of the artificial rules we witnessed people standing IN the other pools on their phones and on the street someone on their bike at a red light so deeply absorbed texting that he almost got in a major accident.

 

 

From my recent lamenting about the phone AKA digital hand watch, Rick pulled me into Swatch to get a new casual, everyday watch.  I was joyful to discover a new friend, not only a watch but, a mantra.  It provides me constant remembrances – “Be Happy for this Moment”  and  “This Moment is for Life”.

Get a watch and get a little of your life back, I did!

 

Notes from the World’s Best Mom

My intention has always been to be an exceptional mother, after all I had 35 years on this planet to devise my strategy and much forethought before beginning the occupation.  But, I was not prepared for being dubbed the Best Mom in the World a bit over 3 ½ years into my tenure.  The difficult part is retaining the title, at least in one person’s eyes.

Does this look like the “Best Mother in the World” or what?

From the early moments of being with child, unconditional love permeated every fiber of my being as every mom tells you it will.  But at no time was I prepared for the absolute pure love that I was to receive in return.  Well before the age of 3 my daughter whole heartily announced daily that she was going to be a Mommy.  In an attempt to instill a sense of unlimited potentiality in the future, often I would add that she was going to do and be many things before she is a mommy.  Alrighty, now she was gong to be a ballet dancer, a martial artist, and then a mommy.  But why the Mommy fixation?  I had to know so I asked.

“Because you are the best mommy in the whole world and I want to be just like you.”  Bang – my knees got weak, no longer an infant relying on me for mere survival, the connection just got exponentially deeper and more intense.  Carefully and often encouraging her independence and original thoughts while meanwhile she was, and is, mirroring me in every way.  So often in the daily hustle and bustle it is easy to forget that after all we are and will be role models for our children not just as youngster but in our actions, behaviors, and of course our influence intentionally and unintentionally.

The gravity of the title bestowed gives one pause and reflection the same way any ceremonial crowning subconsciously and consciously elevates a person to meet the expectations of the designation.  It is not the feeling of a constant microscope, on the contrary, it is more akin to a mirror back to oneself.  In line situationally relating to WWJD as in WWTBMD, What Would “The Best Mom Do?”  I am not labeling myself as otherworldly or saintly, but do feel more patient and conscious thinking WWTBMD in lots of situations.  This does not mean all sunshine and rainbows but some deep breaths, intentional pauses, and extra hugs.  Of course, to be the best it should and does including being firm and disciplining when need be, a true sign of ultimate love.

An update on our travels:

Rick was teaching a seminar in NYC for Krav New York so we decided to stay for a beautiful spring weekend.  A whole morning spent in central park and landing for brunch at a lovely Greek restaurant in the Upper West Side – Loi.  The staff was very warm and gracious and we were enthralled to find out that the chef/owner donates 10% of all profits to an orphanage in Greece, her motherland.  Life can present constant reminders of humility and humanity.  In her restaurant and website more of a focus is on these efforts than promoting the fact that she is a celebrity chef and even cooks for Obama a few times a year.  If you ever in the city for brunch you must check it!

One gift of having a singleton is that we manage pretty well as a team and can easily and stress-free enjoy cultural adventures that some parents of multiples dare not attempt.  Being that we are not outnumbered we can always switch off to experience adult themed amusement without interrupting others experiences.  We are Beatles mega-fans so when we heard that the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts, at Lincoln Center had an exhibit “Ladies and Gentlemen…The Beatles!” that includes tour memorabilia, historic film clips, video interviews with musicians, as well as interactive exhibits of course we had to make a pit stop.

Sunday came and a four-hour seminar and a child just don’t align.  Having once never believed I could enjoy something more than martial arts, I choose some quality time with Ilaria and we headed to the West Village for a wonderful educational introduction to the theater and children’s showing of The Little Mermaid, no it was not created by Disney, this one was based on the original Hans Christian Anderson version and the mermaid (never actually given a name in the folk tale version) does not marry the prince and live happily ever after.  She loved it and seeing this experience through her was sheer joy.

Rick taught the Kali edged weapon awareness seminar to a great group of very receptive Krav Maga students some of which had a blank canvas when it came to the Filipino arts.  Interestingly, back in the PAMA archives Rick has a receipt from the main a Krav Maga schools in Israel when they bought a whole set of his instructional DVDs several few years back.  After the show, since both us gals LOVE martial arts, we immediately after headed to midtown east to check out the second half of the seminar. Great group of people to teach!

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Ah dancing, theater, and martial arts all in one day, maybe I am the Best Mom in the Whole World.  When asked what her favorite part of the show was my daughter’s reply was “Being with you Mom”.   Oh, the pressure of keeping the title!

Aliens in Jersey

All three of us were born in Jersey and have lived here all of our 101 years in total.  I studied both my undergrad and graduate classes in state and worked/lived here ever since.   The 6-½ weeks away was the longest stretch that any of us has ever spent out of state EVER.  Jersey runs deep in our blood and it has been motherland, a place of sacred memories.

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Upon landing in Newark there was a surprisingly unfamiliar, unsettling feeling and stillness.  As we stepped outside air bathed us with a chill and that New Jersey “je ne sais quoi” quality.  We made the drive home with our trusty ex-employee Max.  Although we have taken this route with him back from the airport on numerous occasions, this was the first time the conversation was not an immediate return to realism with a briefing of all things PAMA business related.  Usually we hit the ground running, being catapulted directly into reality with little time for niceties.  On this day there were moments of stillness, chuckles, and small talk.

Once we were on our own in the car Rick and I exchange our feelings and commiserate about our outlooks of feeling like strangers in a strange land.  Fittingly, turning on the radio the words blare and resonate, “Help me get my feet back on the ground.  Won’t you please, please help me?”

Upon stopping in our familiar grocery store for a coffee and rations it was a surreal feeling like when a spirit passes to another world and is walking amongst this world unrecognized, unacknowledged.  The world around us, zooming and flurring as our bodies glide through seamlessly untouched.  Leaving the parking lot and SCREECH………. Time speeds up and we are brought to reality when a Jersey driver ran a stop sign, almost ramming us in a T formation as we turned in front of him.  OM, OM, and OMG, with a shiver the Jersey Girl in me takes back my body.  Giving the appropriate “What the Hey?” question mark arm gesture (no, not a hand gesture I am a lady after all) we were greeted and acknowledged by a horn and reciprocal gesticulation of disapproval, no sign of acknowledging his error.  Immediately brought back to our bodies and reality.  As a story a teacher of ours once shared it is easy to mediate in stillness and calmness.  Now try it while sitting in a half lotus with a sharp, pointed rock under your rump.

What the F, welcome back to Jersey and yes, STOP signs are a mere suggestion.

Life Near Death: Beware of the Crocodilians

We had made it clear to ourselves and our readers that we were searching for adventure and uncertainty but, we had no idea where our trip to the Florida Keys would first lead us and how close we could come to an old foe.

As a child I had the joy of connecting with nature on a fantastic outing to Okefenokee Swamp, one of North America’s most unspoiled, fascinating, and precious natural areas. The website touts it as the largest, intact, un-fragmented, freshwater and black water wilderness swamp in North America.  What a beautiful wildlife encounter…  that has haunted my nightmares ever since, perpetrating my nights every few months.   Who takes a small child who is susceptible to known alligator infested waters?  My sadistic family!  During that fantastic journey we took a voyage on a tour boat in which we saw gators on either side – eyes sticking out of the water peering at us with devious intentions, on land slithering back into the water retiring to a discrete observation point, and of course taunting on a shore near the visitors center but a small island away.  In defense, my mother was petrified adding to my angst but I do believe that my Aunt thought it was immense family fun.  Truly a momentous trip not to be forgotten, literally.  Please keep in mind that normally these reptiles retreat from adults as they feel threatened but, have been known to attack small children and small dogs.  I was 4.

Empathetic to Captain Hook from Peter Pan, looking for his adversary and being haunted by the ever present tick- tock of the Crocodile biding it’s time awaiting another opportunity for an encounter.  None the less, together Rick and I have seen and swam near Cayman in jungles of Peru and Mexico and while on a solo jungle adventure in the rainy season of Costa Rica 5 years ago heard a large splash into the river that could have only been a substantial Crocodile sliding into the banks.  After spending many adult years putting the trauma of my childhood behind me and convincing myself that my terrors were unrealistic due to the reality that I am a full-grown adult capable of fending off the beast, my adversary has once again made it known to us and our wee one, perfect size for bait.

We decided to stay overnight in Key Largo, meandering our way down the Florida Keys to Key West. The night before the events described below was ominous.  As we turned to walk from our hotel beach area at dusk, I snatched our daughter mid-step from trampling on a brightly colored snake making its way through the path.  Devout on remaining unruffled and not inflicting emotional scars by our over reaction at a possibly poisonous snake, we casually headed inside reminding her how all animals are our friends and part of nature and the earth. We all live together, we live in right relationship with them and all is well.  That is of course as long as you stay out of their path and habitat.

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The next morning I mentioned to Rick the only thing I really wanted to do is Canoe at the John Pennekamp State Park, famed for its coral reefs, but also know for its mangroves. Something interesting for all of us to experience, as well as enjoying the outdoors.  Touristy trap excursions that are commercial and fixed are not really our thing.  We could create our own adventure and that we did. At the registration stand they mentioned that canoes were unavailable because of winds so we would have to take a tandem kayak and the child could sit on a make shift seat in between.  Given that we made the mistake of telling a 3-year-old of our intentions in advance we were committed, kayak it was to be.  Have you been on a kayak before?  Yes, lots of fun for the maneuverability and very close to the water.  Have you been on a tandem kayak with a third AKA a squirmy child?   Not quite the same throw caution to the wind, freedom.  I chose to be the rear seat wanting the extra work out and Rick took the makeshift map and set himself in front.  All I remember was the man getting us together and tracing the route with his finger and “there are places where it is a tight squeeze, you’ll need to move branches”.

From the moment we got into the kayak our unity was mislaid, our synchronism was not there. We got moving through the main thoroughfare into the mangroves.  An insistent little voice, “mommy I want to paddle”.  What harm could that be?  I attempted to lift my paddle over her head for fun and the kayak violently shift almost launching us all overboard.  An awkward movement, a laugh, and ha-ha we could have all gotten wet.  We now have a good little swimmer and all have life vests, no biggie.  A few more feet away there was a wooden pier into the mangroves for pedestrians to view into untainted Mother Nature.  All occurring in a matter of seconds I said to Rick, “I can see the shore and it is getting too narrow, turn around.”  As these words slipped from my lips, I notice a  few feet away a hand full of people gathered on the boards staring in the water, and only one woman mentions, barely over a whisper, I am assuming not to frighten the animal, “Oh, you might not want to go near that large crocodile we are looking at.”  Might?  Might?

Obvious stock photo
Obvious stock photo

I, concerned for the safety of my bait-sized, bite-sized child, centered myself like never before, calling on every power of courage as only a true warrior can.  A great Tibetan teacher once said that being fearless is not about the absence of fear but moving beyond it.  Rick, to assess the situation or as a natural reaction from the woman’s comments, turns to look at our scaled friend and then so does my daughter.  In an effort not to cause the boat to rock, single point of focus and strategically,  I calmly tell Rick not to look forward and to plow ahead.  Keep in mind that throughout this whole process a plastic kayak, which we are much less familiar with, is not like or by any means as sturdy as a metal canoe.  I start to power through the strokes and the kayak rocks from the sudden shift of energy.  Deep breath, steady, calm and we glide through the water in unison this time, lockstep – every stride glancing questionably at branches and coral sticking out of the water as we head back to the launch point.

Believe it or not - this is the after shot!
Believe it or not – this is the after shot!

My daughter will not be tortured from the occurrence as I was as a child and now calmly as an adult.  Her parents remained centered and cool the entire time just like the Crocodilian.  Some might ask, “What did you expect in the Everglades?” Yes, we were in their habitat but, really in this time of litigation, there were no mentions on the state park’s websites about crocs, which used to be an endangered species.  Nothing in the paperwork at the registration and hey, no one coached us prior to launch “oh just in case you get in a pickle that flimsy kayak paddle which is not high quality (thank you national parks) will not be of any use because it feels as if it might break from a hard push in the water let alone a jaw clamping it or shoeing away a large reptile”. Yes, the woman who warned us said large.  I can still hear her words ringing in my ears along with a faint tick-tock.

A key west croc
A Key West croc

Decompressing and Harmonizing

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Our compassion goes out to our friends and family in the Northeast.  As I write this they have been hit with two snowstorms since our departure and foresee another ramming this coming weekend.  We, fortunately, got out while the getting was good.

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Some may be waiting in anticipation of where we disembarked.  We copped a squat in our favorite Central American country and town Nosara, Costa Rica.  We wanted to choose a place that would reflect complete relaxation and retreat from the rush and hurry energy of which we came, a place that would require minimal exertion on our part to undergo decompression. The comfort of this local provides us with a safe haven and respite due to our familiarity.  We have been here 5 times now, 4 years in a row, bringing the wee one here first when she was a mere 6 months.  Here we have close friends, make new friends, and meet friends of friends.

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Nosara is a surf and yoga mecca, ironically CNN and National Geographic voted it one of the “11 places to go in 2014”.   Our hotel the Harmony, is the pinnacle of serenity and nature’s elegance.  Time floats and becomes transparent – time evaporates.  No really, the hotel has no clocks in the rooms or common areas and there is no Television.   No clocks or watches seem to allow the body to naturally reset its rhythms.  Wake with the sun to the sounds of the howler moneys and exotic birds collaborating in the distance or maybe a 3-year-old eager to explore the beach.  Sleep when the urge comes to slip into a siesta.  Lights out literally in the common areas of the hotel at 10 PM and physically when the body draws you to retire synchronizing to the natural, rhythmic body clock.

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Now we are boundless, nomads.  Several days in and it has yet to completely bore into our consciousness.  Comparable to when a lover leaves, the familiarity is so fresh one expects the silhouette to surrey in and settle back into the comfortable nook.  Last year on this same trip Rick and I began to discuss the strong possibility of taking this conduit and here we find ourselves with an open pallet to add the strokes deliberately and thoughtfully.  The same we that stands here now in the universe of our creation.  Since fate agrees, then who are we to disagree?

Pura Vida!

Lucky You(s)

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The past few weeks have been moving slowly at first and now faster than one can imagine.  We love Mike Lee the new owner of our precious Academy (PAMA) and have spent lots of time and energy assisting him in getting the new place spiffy and ready for the official public Open House celebration and Rick has continued to instruct through January. Yes, the business was sold in December but days have been filled with settling up the business and tax matters, organizing our personal matters to take place in our absence, and finally packing for a jaunt starting out in a foreign country.  The new PAMA is settling in and my family and myself are getting ready to set out.

We are setting off this Sunday (to parts disclosed on my next blog – bye-bye snow!).  With all of the lead-time before our outward journey began we have graciously received an outpouring of love and well wishes for our future endeavors.   Truly – the Love You Make is Equal to the Love You Take. We have had a few, very few people say Well Must Be Nice guised in a statement of “Lucky You” – no well wishes added.

This journey has very little to do with Luck but lots to do about the choices that we make in life and the courage to follow through on those choices. Now this is where the peaceful warrior and the hero come into play as the great Joseph Campbell would say. A hero is not just someone who saves someone’s life nor is a warrior a person that runs around fighting all the time. A hero is someone who goes beyond where others may go to bring something back for the good of others as well as for themselves, but the hero needs the warrior to keep up this tough journey whatever it may be. Now, people may say so what is so tough about taking time off and traveling.  If it wasn’t in one sense tough and different from what most people as a family would do, then many more people would do it.

There is a commercial on HGTV it says… “You don’t have to be rich to move to Hawaii you just have to want it”.  And that’s what it is really about, if you want it badly enough you will find a way. Rick began his hero’s journey way back when he was 18 and determined against all odds to learn the art of Bruce Lee, a story to be shared at a later date. Overcoming many, many obstacles and ups and downs he persevered.  Because of that determination thousands of students have benefited over the years.   That is the mindset of the peaceful warrior, and a hero’s journey. Another quote that we love is “This is your world shape it or someone else will” by Gary Lew.  Lucky?  Well, we very well may hit the lottery but no such luck yet.  Blessed?  Hell yes!  Rick, 20 years my senior began working at the age of 13, I began at the age of 15 and we both have been completely self-sufficient our whole adult lives.  Our strong will served and will continue to serve us well.

As those who are business owners know, in a service-based industry and something you are passionate about, your heart and soul are poured into every crevasse. These adventures we are about to partake in are not only about “fun” but to allow us the freedom that owning a business did not provide.  The freedom from everyday life, to open our minds and explore ourselves on a deeper level and truly understand what shifts we need and want to make in ourselves and how to contribute to the world in a larger way.  There are even parts of our journey that will allow us to assist and work with others along the way.

So to all those reading, thank you for the well wishes and love.  Wishing you all your own internal and external explorations and the courage to live and dream on a grand scale.  Also, for the “Lucky You(s)” I wish you love and even more valor because feelings of jealousy are no more than a mask for fear.

It is fitting that the Open House for PAMA at the new location will be this Saturday, February 1st, and we leave early in the AM on Sunday.  Both are setting out on their paths.

Bags Packed!
Bags Packed!

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”  – Buddha

Honoring the Past and Embracing the Future

As I was about to pull out of 14 Farber Road to attend the first PAMA classes at the new location, I started to tear up.  Those tears were quickly replaced with a chuckle as our daughter, also a Beatles fan, began humming the oh so fitting tune… What goes on in your heart, what goes on in your mind.

To provide some perspective, I left my parents house when I was 17, this week I departed 14 Farber Road for the last time just short of 16 of my adult years.  Comparable to when I moved out of my parents’ house I don’t have reservations that it was the proper decision but a piece of my heart, rightfully so, is subject to be tugged by those memories.

Looking back, the events and emotions that took place within those walls will far greater exceed the physical necessity for the building but, after all, I literally grew up in that martial arts haven.  Like many who have joined Princeton Academy of Martial Arts (PAMA) over the years, I entered naïvely having never explored the deeper depths of my soul.  Martial Arts, if practiced in a mindful, spiritual practice will chew up your ego and spit you out.  That is why many people could not handle the intensity of Sifu Rick and the training.  I am a strong-willed person and back in the day he made me cry several times (not in public mind you).  Although I came back, many times I saw others leave and not return because the training can mirror back to you deep fears and shatter images one has and cannot bear to scrutinize.  But for me, after going through some personal life trials, it was time to be real with myself.

The importance of Martial Arts, on the deeper level as it is trained at PAMA, is about truly examining and knowing yourself, not your enemies or perceived enemies.  Martial arts took on a significant role my life, being drawn closer to it while many internal transformations took place that prompted me to change my world.  PAMA was my sanctuary and many times I found refuge within those walls, especially when I felt that the outside world could not comprehend what revolutions were going on within.

Through the years, I have been blessed with many close friendships and lots of love from my fellow training partners, instructors, and my students.  Many memorable people, to many to mention, have stood with me as I experienced blood and sweat, broken bones and lifted spirits.  I thank each of them for their support, camaraderie, and laughs.  Of course fate and our love for Martial Arts brought Rick and I together many years ago and ironically, together made the choice to sell the business and take the next step of our journey elsewhere.

If someone had asked me 16 years ago, where I thought martial arts could lead me I would have never been able to imagine my place in the world today as a Martial Artist and a Warrior.   I am enthralled that I found martial arts and ecstatic that I found myself.  As our new journey now truly begins, we welcome it with arms wide open and with the Warriors’ approach saying “YES!” to life and the path ahead.

STAY TUNED!

Watching the Wheels Go Round and Round

   I wish I could say that now that the business has been sold we are relaxing with nothing to do and nowhere to be.  That day will come soon enough.  In the meantime, still purging and organizing some final things for storage and the very time consuming task of transitioning various accounts to the new owner as well as changing contact info on others.  Have you ever had your wallet stolen or lost better yet, gotten divorced?  Then you have a small idea of what work goes into setting your accounts in order.   Most like to think that the online age has allowed us the freedom to supersede human interaction but, in reality, with numerous passwords and accounts it is exponentially more tiresome.

Fond farewell!
Fond farewell!

We did take time to have an intimate gathering of our closest people to bid a farewell to 14 Faber Road.  You can tell by the picture Rick and I are torn up.  Actually, it was a night of laughs and shared memories. Rick took time late in the evening to explain some of the history of the rooms and artwork that has adorned the walls for so many years. Both of us have such fond memories, with Rick spending almost ½ his life there and myself starting when I was a nieve 23 year old.  We have grown and transformed into the people that we have become both individually and as a couple.  It has not only been a location but an anchor for our spirits to reside and feel safe to express ourselves through movement, meditation, training, and teaching.

PAMA has been the first and only place in NJ to host a long list of incredible instructors, Guro Dan Inosanto, Ajarn Chai Sirisute, Diony Canete, all the Machado brothers, and a list of now deceased masters –  Pak Herman Suwanda, Punon Guro Edgar Sulite,  Sifu Larry Hartsell,  Pendekar Paul DeThouars, to name just a few. These were not just typical seminars but, in every case, involved long hours of private lessons with Rick including lots of sweat, bloody hands from Kali stroking, injured backs & body parts, and so much more. PAMA has not just been about the base level of martial arts but, also, the spiritual philosophical path with several wonderful guides and mentors such as our close friend Khempo Tenzin Darje Rinpoche, and Shamans of Peru as well as Chi Gung instructors.

Ilaria has literally grown up with PAMA as her home, her first trip being when she was a mere 2 weeks old.  She knows Uncle Mikey bought PAMA and she has visited the new PAMA but, we are awaiting the visceral response and protests when we lock the doors one last time.  Although, maybe, that is just projection of our own fears leaving the building behind.  Interesting though, she has grown up understanding non-attachment more then anyone I know.  Especially, as a child, she freely gives up clothes and toys that are no longer suited for her age or size.   Once when I lost a piece of jewelry I was very attached to she said, “It is OK mommy, things come and things go”.  At that point I had to stop grinding my teeth and let it go.  NOTE:  If you are a parent you must get the book Pete the Cat and his Groovy Buttons.

In the interim, as always, we make a conscious choice to spend quality, unfiltered time with Ilaria.  We had a bit of snow the other day but, at Club PAMA, it makes no matter.  On the day of the storm, Ilaria and I spent an hour riding our bikes in the 2000 sq. ft. “green room” for fun and fitness.  Of course, then she needed to ride on the children’s bike seat on the back of mine to reenact the Sound of Music.    In typical snow day fashion, the quintessential activity consisted of Rick making an authentic hand rolled snowman.  Too bad Max is no longer an employee, Rick could have had him prep the pieces like in a cooking show and Rick could have been just the finisher for the glory!  I joke of course. Rick would never deny Ilaria the experience or have a handy craft with his name/stamp on it that was not his own work.  Rick forever the artist and craftsman!