The “Wait” of the World

My twenties brought anxiety and at one time some panic attacks from feelings and judgments of things I could not control and my lack of centering.  The Martial Arts through it’s many aspects (too many to mention here) and one book, the Art of Happiness by the Dali Lama, enlightened me to my own inner strength and grounded me by providing focus and a calm that I had never known.   So, for one to feel anxious once more brought back not only present uprooting but memories of unstable times.

For a few weeks recently Rick had noted my lack of urgency preparing for “the Big One”, our adventure into the world in which we received an extended visa through Sweden to travel in Europe for 5 months.  This momentous escapade did not come together over night, there was plenty time to prepare.  It was our goal since 2011 and we originally were seeking to attain it by the sale of PAMA, a sabbatical of epic proportions.  Not a vacation, freedom that was once not provided to us and one we were now courageous enough and blessed enough to make a reality.  Then bang, I was blindsided … pressure, exacerbating it even more was the actuality that I knew and know that internal calm and centering is all within one’s own grasp.    Still I could not shake being edgy and nerved out.

One might speculate many concerns and issues.  What to pack?  Yes, this time our clothing and items were now to cover both a brisk spring in Sweden and a warm Mediterranean summer.  Of course also a few comfort items for an almost 4 year-old’s and important favorites.  That did not cause a rattle; the details would fall into place even for an Greenie like me who dislikes purchasing unnecessary items to duplicate something we may forget.  Proudly, only 2 medium suitcases and 1 duffle stuffed and including a new scooter for quick transportation and to facilitate loads of walking.  The absence itself?  We were away earlier this year for 7 weeks with no regrets.  We all love travel and are naturals tackling new experiences and places.  We love our friends and family but we will be back soon enough.  Our home and personal items?  We have a very reliable and trustworthy person in house guarding.   Also material items do not define us so no troubles leaving them behind.

I am writing to ensure all that we have started our retreat reaching our destination intact.  So why then the anxiety?  The question is one that I have still not been able to pinpoint myself.    Maybe it a premonition?   Wait till my next blog to hear about a near catastrophic event that occurred on our train ride from the Copenhagen Airport to Malmo Sweden.  A near miss beyond our control with almost unimaginable results…………….